Tuesday, December 14, 2010

OH! an actual post! XD

Asslamualaikum w.b.t
I hope you readers are fine :)

So far my holidays are well spent.If by 'well spent' you mean rotting in front of the computer all day and all night, ruining my sleeping schedule, and munch. =___=

But that's going to change :)
I'm going to The Philippines! I am so exited! The last time I was there was 2004. I'll be leaving the day after tomorrow.

To be absolutely honest, I don't remember most of my relatives there. I remember a few, from memories but if my mom didn't talk about them now and again I'd be blank.

We're going to stay in Manila for a couple of days then we're going to my grandma's house in Cebu :) My family's gathering there and we'll be together for Christmas.

Personally I don't celebrate Christmas but think of it as family time.

We're going to visit a lot of places, and me and my brother will surely take a lot of pictures.
 I'll start packing tonight :)


ok, enough about that.

Kak Aishah, my sister from another mother just told me she got an offer to continue her A-Levels Cambridge! She is TOTALLY my idol.

♥ ♥ ♥ I love her! ♥ ♥ ♥

I will always remember our fun times together.

She'll be leaving on 1st January. We're going to hang out tomorrow (probably for the last time, at least before she flies off) and Nida will be joining too.  

so I guess that's it for now. 
Fair winds, mateys! arrrrr! XD
(LOL what was that) 

funshots! :D

a photogenic bicycle. LOL

Nida staring into somewhere

this is what SPOILED looks like

just chillin' ... in the middle of the road

nais.

idek.

shoe LOL


Thursday, December 9, 2010

Giving up

first of all, I would like to apologize because all I have been updating lately are poems. Well, you can't control when inspiration strikes and there's no harm in sharing, right? so be it.

Missed calls and unreplied texts,
I see no point in trying anymore,
we're doomed to take different paths,
we'll never be like we were before.

Unspoken feelings and unanswered questions,
Both of us had chosen silence,
but none has heard enough,
to speak and listen would be tough.

Torn pictures and broken promises,
we both gave up on each other,
memories remain, as well as the pain,
will this go on forever?

----------------------------------------------------------

Well, this poem is about the time when a relationship isn't going well and seemingly, the couple had given up on each other.
stanza 1: it's about parting. Parting from each other, and the fact that they can never be happy together as they were again. 
stanza 2: Both want answers but both choose to be silent as a careful step to not get hurt again. It's too big of a risk, so they think it's best to not speak anymore.
stanza 3: deep inside, they will always remember each other and the question 'will this go on forever?' is actually a question of hope. Deeper inside they wish they can be as they were before. They wish they didn't have to take different paths.



Wednesday, December 8, 2010

You are

You're the reason for the butterflies in my stomach,
The cause for my sleepless nights,
You're the rain, you're the rainbow,
You're the destination no matter where I go

You're the bee that brings honey,
The one that came and stung me,
You're the subject of my confusion,
You're my dream, you're my delusion.

------------------------------------------------------------
OK, it was supposed to tell the story about something that is both good and bad to you.
It turned out like this. HAHAHAHA
I think it's good enough LOL

Monday, December 6, 2010

Lullaby

You know you're hurt
when you can't sleep and you cry
when you're lonely late at night
when your tears become your lullaby.

you keep denying it
but you know it's true
it hurts me so much
for I am you.

Stars fill the sky
I can't sleep, can't try
but it helps when I cry
as if tears were a lullaby.

The lights are out
the tears did the trick
I've finally fallen asleep
with tears upon my cheek.


__________________________

Ok, normally I don't explain my poems but I want to explain this one. I wrote this poem in bed last night and unlike the usual book I write them in, I actually saved this one as a draft in my mobile phone because the lights were already out and I was already under my blanket. If I got up, I might loose inspiration. 

The concept 'tears were a lullaby' actually came to when I was having a conversation with kak Ieka about a few problems I have been having lately. Besides her, Asfar was a really great help too. I want to take this opportunity to thank you guys for being there for me, even though we never met in real life, you guys mean a lot to me.I you guys. :')

OK, back to the story. With the problems I have been having lately, and a few times over the past 6 months, I have experienced crying myself to sleep. You can say it isn't something I need to get used to. You know, like when you're depressed, sad, and lonely and you just can't close your eyes and fall into a deep slumber, and your eyes get teary and before you know it, you're crying, and it keeps reminding you of how hurt and vulrenable you are? Like that. That was a 46 word sentence and I used 'and' 7 times -.-

Then you wake up. Without realizing, you fell asleep in the midst of all those tears and emotions. As if crying can help you sleep, you know, like a lullaby would. Get the point?

That's probably it. 

well, I hope your nights are much more pleasant that mine. 
And if you relate to the poem, 
Everything will be fine eventually.
:)


Friday, December 3, 2010

I feel weak.

These last few days have not been my best. I have not been feeling like myself. And everything seems to make me want to slap someone in the face. and PMS doesn't really help either.

It's rainy seasons like this I wish I owned knee-high multicolored socks.

I currently feel like sleeping for a few days. Just sleep.

If someone were to ask me "are you okay?" the answer would be a simple "no".
If a "why?" follows that question, the answer would be "I don't know".

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

More than friends

We're not just friends
I know I'm right
we're more than just friends
but lovers - not quite

Words can't define it
i'm not sure what it is
but not everyone can have
something special like this



*PS, sorry for flooding your dash with my posts. but you better get used to it. ;P

Shadows

Shadows lurking in the silent night
pulling me into a dark inferno
right into my ears
they whisper my fears
and nobody else knows

Raindrops and photographs

Sound of raindrops
enter my ears
as they fall onto my face
and combine with my tears

Rain can't erase the past
nor mend a broken heart
but it makes me feel better
especially through this tough part

you were once my hero
a candlelight in darkness
what was once my shield
is now my biggest weakness

Pain after laughs
love before shame
we're not photographs
we don't stay the same

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Us and the moon

The moon can shine
even without stars
a girl is precious
even with a few scars

I prefer your voice
compared to any song
together we'll find
somewhere we belong

I'm doing just fine
'Cause I know you're still mine
but the nights feel colder
without you here

Even when I sleep
I dream of you
perhaps there's a chance
I'm in your dreams too

I miss you with each heartbeat
I promise we'll be together soon
but for now darling at least
remember we're under the same moon

Monday, November 22, 2010

Rahsia Tarikh Lahir - Julai! :D

Kajian mengenai bulan dan sikap seseorang oleh Dato’ Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah. 
Before we go on, i just want to say that personally i think personalities depends on the individual and his/her surroundings, his/her influences and etc. Wallahualam.

* Sangat suka didamping. - YA BETUL!
* Banyak berahsia dan sukar dimengerti terutamanya lelaki. - i have some secrets ;)
* Agak pendiam kecuali dirangsang. - 'diransang' x bermaksud in a 18sx way, okay? it's when we get really excited.
* Ada harga dan maruah diri. - Don't we all?
* Tak suka menyusahkan orang lain tapi tidak marah apabila disusahkan. - kalau org menyusahkan sangat naik berang. sikit2 takpe, kalu mood baik. har har
* Mudah dipujuk dan bercakap lurus. - ada ke org ckp belok? XD yeap, straight to the point.
* Sangat menjaga hati orang lain. - I try my hardest. too hard, sometimes.
* Sangat peramah. - Since i was a baby, so i was told by my mom.
* Emosi sangat mendalam tapi mudah terluka hatinya. - hmm, hmm, hmm,, yeah.
* Berjiwa sentimental. - agak la
* Jarang berdendam. - what's the point
* Mudah memaafkan tapi sukar melupakan. - TRUE.
* Tidak suka benda remeh-temeh. - TRUE
* Membimbing cara fizikal dan mental. - if you say so :P
* Sangat peka, mengambil berat dan mengasihi serta penyayang. - :)
* Layanan yang serupa terhadap semua orang. - adil la kan camtu? takyah pilih kasih
* Tinggi daya simpati. - Awwh
* Pemerhatian yang tajam. - yep, very observative. sometimes i 'observe' ppl a lil too much haha
* Suka menilai orang lain melalui pemerhatian. - lps observation, ade conclusion la kan?
* Mudah dan rajin belajar. - ye ke? ye ke?
* Suka muhasabah diri. - InsyaAllah
* Suka mengenangkan peristiwa atau kawan lama. - flashbacks are awesome
* Suka mendiamkan diri. - only if there's something amiss
* Suka duduk di rumah. - malas nak keluar :P
* Suka tunggu kawan tapi tak cari kawan. - Kata peramah, tp ni pulak. FALSE.
* Tidak agresif kecuali terpaksa. - TOTALLY.
* Lemah dari segi kesihatan perut. - i am fat. overruled.
* Mudah gemuk kalau tak kawal diet. - LoL bru sebut
* Minta disayangi. - YA ;__;
* Mudah terluka hati tapi lambat pulih. - it takes time, depends.
* Terlalu mengambil berat. - sigh,
* Rajin dalam membuat kerja   - Most fo the time. maybe.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

My darker side

Hey peeps.

I have a lot of memories from primary school. In 6th grade, i went through a lot. A LOT. and during that time, i have made a book, that i wrapped in black and i wrote in it. I wouldn't say it was a diary, but rather a place to express myself. My anger and sadness to be precise. I kept the book all these years and I go through it once in a while just for old times sake.

LOL this is embarrassing.


And by reading this book, i could say past me should've gotten help or something. Past me kinda scares present me. :/

I was a very. very, sick 12 year old.

I read through it again last night, and decided to share some of the stuff in it. Just to tell people i am an emotional roller coaster since i was a kid.


So here goes nothing. 

This is actually the first thing that i wrote in it:
"For once i was happy in my life. Now it's gone. All that's left are just memories that makes me cry every time i think about it. You left me alone. I thought that would never happen. You promised me you'd be there for me. You never came. You were a piece of me. When you left, you took it away. Now my heart is in two and I only have one half of it. You kept it and threw it away. Now I can't even carry a smile anymore. Replacing you si a hard thing to do. Saying goodbye was the saddest thing to do. I just want you to know that I'm sorry. But please tell me. Why did you stop loving me, and why did you start in the first place?"
-WOW I'm so dramatic-

The last stanza of a poem. The rest of it is just, well, lame. 
"Just smile my darling,
Don't shed a tear,
Cause I will always be near,
Think of the love we share,
I will always be here"
*grabs a box of tissues and a bucket*

-flipping through pages- Wow, Was my handwriting really this atrocious? Well, it is my 'i am pissed/tearing my heart out' handwriting 

"Just because i flirt doesn't mean I'm a hoe, because unlike other girls i learned to say no." this is a phrase i picked up somewhere from the internet.

Ahh, the internet. I have learned so many bad word from you. 

-flips- Oh, i used 3 pages calling a girl 'bit**' . I was mean, btu at least i didn't say it to her face. But then again, that girl was just so... urgh.  whatever.

"a lot of bad things happen a lot of the time" - well, it's true. 



Ah, here it is. the page where i made a deal with myself to not get into a relationship (at least until i finish schooling). it's signed at midnight, 6th December 2008.

BARE ME.



And that's probably it. There are other stuff but that's just me, being a naive 12 year old, ranting, and so on.





sometimes i wish i could go back into time and meet past me, give her a nice slap in the face, and talk some sense into her. Also warn her about future drama LOL.

but even if i do have the chance to do that, i wouldn't. Although slapping past me really sounds like something epic. HAHAHA.

see people, I'm not just mean to you, I'm mean to myself too. XD

Drowning in Delusion

Promises, promises
Thorns beneath red roses
Honey coated poison
A formula for no other reason
but the cruel entertainent
of a man amused by other's torment

Lies, lies
Stronger than a virgin's conscience
Lies that he told
Lies that she fell for
It's a dreary shame
She carried the blame
Thrown on her back
By none other that herself

Trust, trust
As fragile as a snowflake
Blind from the genuine, fell for the fake
Futile to resist, already unconsciously beaten
Hypnotized by lies
Drowning in delusion

Friday, November 19, 2010

Demons... they're in the shadows.

sorry i didn't rotate it.

A Dark Touch Novel : Shadows.
Written by Amy Meredith.
Cost RM29.90.
281 pages.
Published by Red Fox.

I LOVED IT! i finished reading it in 2 days, and one of the days was in a car! yes, i read in the car.
You can read a review here.

Demons and witchery, very hot boys, and shopping!
can't wait for the second book --> A Dark Touch Novel : The Hunt

Laksamana Sunan!

Assalamualaikum w.b.t
Adakah anda seorang rakyat Malaysia yang gemarkan novel?
Novel cinta...? aksi...? fantasi...? ...epik thriller??
bagaimana kalau semuanya sekali?

Maka, saya ada beberapa novel yang saya ingin cadangkan untuk anda.
Lagipu, pada masa cuti ini, wajarlah kita menggunakan peluang ini untuk mengurangkan stress dengan aktiviti yang tidak menjurus kepada masalah sosial.

Mungkin anda pernah mendengar nama novelis Epik Thriller no.1 tanah air iaitu Ramlee Awang Mursyid. Bagi yang berminat untuk mengetahui lebih lanjut tentang novelis kreatif ini, bolehlah menjenguk ke laman web peminat RAM di http://www.kelabram.com


Siri trilogi 'Bagaikan Puteri', 'Cinta Sang Ratu' dan 'Hijab Sang Pencinta' yang cukup terkanal disambungkan lagi dengan buku ke-4 iaitu 'Cinta Sufi'.

Saya telah membaca 'Bagaikan Puteri', 'Cinta Sang Ratu' dan 'Hijab Sang Pencinta' pada tahun 2009 dan Alhamdulillah, setelah berbulan-bulan mencari kesinambungan ceritanya, 'Cinta Sufi', saya telah berpeluang untuk membacanya.

Sejak daripada buku pertama lagi, saya telah 'jatuh cinta' dengan watak utama cerita ini iaitu Sifuddin atau lebih dikenali sebagai Laksamana Sunan. Siapa yang tidak akan jatuh cinta kepada karektornya?

saya tidak ingin mengulas panjang kerana takut akan spoil cerita ini.

Bagi saya, buku ke-3 iaitu Hijab Sang Pencinta merupakan buku yang terbaik dalam siri ini. Buku ini telah berjaya membuatkan saya menitis air mata ketika selesai membacanya, dan ia merupakan buku pertama yang pernah menyentuh kalbu saya sehingga begitu sekali. Walaupun begitu, saya tidak menyesal membaca kesinambungannya.

Ramlee Awang Mursyid telah menerapkan banyak pengajaran dalam siri ini terutamanya pengajaran bercirikan keagamaan yang banyak ditunjukkan oleh Laksamana Sunan. Ia juga telah mengajar saya erti sebenar cinta.
Dalam siri ini, Ramlee Awang Mursyid telah berjaya mengimbangkan unsur aksi, fantasi, cinta, dan thriller.

Secara keseluruhannya, saya amat suka siri ini! :D

Buat pengetahuan anda, satu buku bernilai RM19.90, keluaran Alaf 21.

If I had ten thumbs, i'd give it 10 thumbs up!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Hari Terakhir sesi persekolahan sesi 2010

2010 SCHOOL YEAR = OVER.
everybody dance now!


so tadi last day skolah kan, sekolah kitorang adakan gotong-royong. tetapi hakikatnya, tak macam gotong royong pun. hahahahaha. kelas dah settle so lepak je lah. Padahal memang semua orang lepak-lepak je pun tadi. tak ada aktiviti. cikgu nak marah, dah tak ada alasan kukuh, kan? hahahaha

Lepas lepak ngan kawan-kawan, lepak ngan geng Drama Class. Kak Anis, Kak E'zzah, Amirul Si Angau dan Kamal Si Pencemar Alam. (Diorang tak tau aku ada blog so suka hati aku lah >;D lagipun diorang tau dah aku gelar diorang camtu :P)

Kak Anis and Kak E'zzah

Kamal Si Pencemar Alam. Curi riben orang ikat kat beg dia buat harta pusaka =,= takpela, buat kenang-kenangan.
 soalan: Sofia, kenapa panggil dia 'pencemar alam'?  jawapan: sebab motor dia mengeluarkan asap yang banyak gila sampai kawasan berdekatan akan nampak macam kena jerebu. setiap kali dia datang aku akan tutup hidung. HAHAHAHAHA.

Amirul Si Angau dengan muka jiwangnya. biasa~~
so, enough about them.
My bro datang jugak ke sekolah aku tadi. Lawat sekolah lama dia. sebelum dia masuk sekolah ni, dia pun sekolah kat SMK Agama Tok Jiring jugak. Like brother like sister =,="


All in all, I enjoyed the last day of school. although it didn't really felt like the last day of school, actually.

Next year: Penilainan Menengah Rendah. I'm taking 9 subjects, the usual 8 + arabics.
Man, i really got to work hard next year. no more nonsense. WHAT?

(Sofia - Nonsense) = DULL and BORING AS A BRICK
besides, i'm pretty sure no one can take the nonsense out of me.
so HAH!

Oh Yeah, esok balik kampung kat Rompin, Pahang. so no internet for a while. :)
Bulan Disember nanti balik kampung jugak. but that's a another longer story for later ;)

Sunday, November 14, 2010

When words fail...

 I didn't really believe in love. I was Automatic (Tokio Hotel)
I kept telling myself that "I don't wanna be in love (Good Charlotte)"
When he actually liked me, i was like "Why? after you know all my flaws and all (Beyonce)?"  
Even though I was sure that his feelings for me wouldn't last, against my power, I let my Walls (All Time Low) fall down.
  Just as I expected, 'love' didn't last. He changed his heart, he changed his mind.
"I don't love you (My Chemical Romance), I used to"
Then I realized that for me, he was The Only Exception (Paramore)
It hit me like a Shot Through The Heart (Bon Jovi).
Served me right for playing hard to get.
 We remained friends. Let's just say there were some things we weren't happy about. Some things we weren't proud of. 
He was like "I'm not the one (3Oh!3) who wants to hurt you"
And I believed him. I sensed sincerity. He wanted to change for the better. For me.
In order to do this, he distant himself from me.
He didn't tell me this. At first i was like, "OK, i don't need you. Continue with your Ignorance (Paramore)"
But damn it, I missed him. So much.
when i told him that, he said "you never tell me anyways"
Yes, I never told you (Colbie Caillat). Simply because I was denying it myself.
I tried to convince myself that he was not Irreplaceable(Beyonce).
Who would've though, that in all people, I would be the one caught in a Bad Romance (Lady Gaga). I guess I wasn't careful enough.
I keep think about the 2 Different Tears (Wondergirls) that he gave me.
I hate that I love 'you' (Ne-Yo ft Rihanna).
I wanted his Attention (Tokio Hotel) so bad. The kind of attention he used to give me.
Just So 'You' Know (Jesse McCartney), I tried my best to let go of you. 
I didn't know who to turn to when it all falls apart (The Veronicas).
I will wait for The Last Night (Skillet) to be alone.
I need a Saviour (Jamie Lostein).
I need a hero (Jennifer Saunders).


Friday, November 12, 2010

Jamuan Akhir Tahun :)

WooHoo! 
next week, 3 hari lagi skolah, then, holiday!!! *oh yeah, uh-huh happy dance*

ingatke nak update semalam tapi tak sempat. you see, my brother dah balik dari asrama. yeah, sekolah dia dah tamat dah untuk tahun ni. so, my time on the PC will decrease by 70%. hey, games aren't going to play themselves, that's why he's here.

tanpa menangguh lagi, yesterday my class, 2 Al-Ghazali SMK Kompleks Gong Badak buat jamuan Akhir tahun. It was uber fun! makanan pun banyak gila lebih so tapau-tapau la :P

I brought home-made brownies! which i made myself! *bangga kembang hidung* LOL Brownies instant Nona sape takleh wat kan? HAHA. people loved it :)

BELON!!!!


KEK! which i had none of

Perasmian oleh guru kelas , Cd Abd Rahman

The girls

The boys

Guru2 yg hadir

Serbu!!!!


it was a fun fun fun fun  fun fun fun fun day XD

Monday, November 8, 2010

Captures

Assalamualaikum w.b.t
harap semua bloggers sekalian sihat2 sentiasa :)

if you guys added me on Facebook, you might or might not have noticed an album named '♥captures' & 'through my eyes'
i'm just revisiting it.

lama gila tak capture. rindu pulak. huhu
tak ada inspirasi huhuhuhu...

well, i'm hoping i'll get my photographer mode on this school holidays! :D
we'll just see how that turns out :)
papepun, saja nak tunjuk some of the captures.
they're just a bunch of random quotes from random places written on random pieces of paper randomly :)
there are also pics of some other stuff, too! :D












































criticism and advice are HIGHLY appreciated :)
if you're here to be mean then i suggest you get on with your life. wait, YOU DON'T HAVE ONE >;D