Tuesday, December 14, 2010

OH! an actual post! XD

Asslamualaikum w.b.t
I hope you readers are fine :)

So far my holidays are well spent.If by 'well spent' you mean rotting in front of the computer all day and all night, ruining my sleeping schedule, and munch. =___=

But that's going to change :)
I'm going to The Philippines! I am so exited! The last time I was there was 2004. I'll be leaving the day after tomorrow.

To be absolutely honest, I don't remember most of my relatives there. I remember a few, from memories but if my mom didn't talk about them now and again I'd be blank.

We're going to stay in Manila for a couple of days then we're going to my grandma's house in Cebu :) My family's gathering there and we'll be together for Christmas.

Personally I don't celebrate Christmas but think of it as family time.

We're going to visit a lot of places, and me and my brother will surely take a lot of pictures.
 I'll start packing tonight :)

ok, enough about that.

Kak Aishah, my sister from another mother just told me she got an offer to continue her A-Levels Cambridge! She is TOTALLY my idol.

♥ ♥ ♥ I love her! ♥ ♥ ♥

I will always remember our fun times together.

She'll be leaving on 1st January. We're going to hang out tomorrow (probably for the last time, at least before she flies off) and Nida will be joining too.  

so I guess that's it for now. 
Fair winds, mateys! arrrrr! XD
(LOL what was that) 

funshots! :D

a photogenic bicycle. LOL

Nida staring into somewhere

this is what SPOILED looks like

just chillin' ... in the middle of the road



shoe LOL

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Giving up

first of all, I would like to apologize because all I have been updating lately are poems. Well, you can't control when inspiration strikes and there's no harm in sharing, right? so be it.

Missed calls and unreplied texts,
I see no point in trying anymore,
we're doomed to take different paths,
we'll never be like we were before.

Unspoken feelings and unanswered questions,
Both of us had chosen silence,
but none has heard enough,
to speak and listen would be tough.

Torn pictures and broken promises,
we both gave up on each other,
memories remain, as well as the pain,
will this go on forever?


Well, this poem is about the time when a relationship isn't going well and seemingly, the couple had given up on each other.
stanza 1: it's about parting. Parting from each other, and the fact that they can never be happy together as they were again. 
stanza 2: Both want answers but both choose to be silent as a careful step to not get hurt again. It's too big of a risk, so they think it's best to not speak anymore.
stanza 3: deep inside, they will always remember each other and the question 'will this go on forever?' is actually a question of hope. Deeper inside they wish they can be as they were before. They wish they didn't have to take different paths.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

You are

You're the reason for the butterflies in my stomach,
The cause for my sleepless nights,
You're the rain, you're the rainbow,
You're the destination no matter where I go

You're the bee that brings honey,
The one that came and stung me,
You're the subject of my confusion,
You're my dream, you're my delusion.

OK, it was supposed to tell the story about something that is both good and bad to you.
It turned out like this. HAHAHAHA
I think it's good enough LOL

Monday, December 6, 2010


You know you're hurt
when you can't sleep and you cry
when you're lonely late at night
when your tears become your lullaby.

you keep denying it
but you know it's true
it hurts me so much
for I am you.

Stars fill the sky
I can't sleep, can't try
but it helps when I cry
as if tears were a lullaby.

The lights are out
the tears did the trick
I've finally fallen asleep
with tears upon my cheek.


Ok, normally I don't explain my poems but I want to explain this one. I wrote this poem in bed last night and unlike the usual book I write them in, I actually saved this one as a draft in my mobile phone because the lights were already out and I was already under my blanket. If I got up, I might loose inspiration. 

The concept 'tears were a lullaby' actually came to when I was having a conversation with kak Ieka about a few problems I have been having lately. Besides her, Asfar was a really great help too. I want to take this opportunity to thank you guys for being there for me, even though we never met in real life, you guys mean a lot to me.I you guys. :')

OK, back to the story. With the problems I have been having lately, and a few times over the past 6 months, I have experienced crying myself to sleep. You can say it isn't something I need to get used to. You know, like when you're depressed, sad, and lonely and you just can't close your eyes and fall into a deep slumber, and your eyes get teary and before you know it, you're crying, and it keeps reminding you of how hurt and vulrenable you are? Like that. That was a 46 word sentence and I used 'and' 7 times -.-

Then you wake up. Without realizing, you fell asleep in the midst of all those tears and emotions. As if crying can help you sleep, you know, like a lullaby would. Get the point?

That's probably it. 

well, I hope your nights are much more pleasant that mine. 
And if you relate to the poem, 
Everything will be fine eventually.

Friday, December 3, 2010

I feel weak.

These last few days have not been my best. I have not been feeling like myself. And everything seems to make me want to slap someone in the face. and PMS doesn't really help either.

It's rainy seasons like this I wish I owned knee-high multicolored socks.

I currently feel like sleeping for a few days. Just sleep.

If someone were to ask me "are you okay?" the answer would be a simple "no".
If a "why?" follows that question, the answer would be "I don't know".