Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Result day is coming!

Assalamualaikum w.t.b, peace be upon you :)

I hope you're happy and healthy, whoever you are :P

Actually today, I would like to talk (or type, if you're the specific kind) about PMR results. No, I haven't received it. It's going to be announced this Thursday. Today is Tuesday, by the way. Which means, it's the day after tomorrow! :O ! Tomorrow's tomorrow!

to-morrow, to-morrow,
creeps in this petty pace from day to day..

well, you know the rest. lol

For those who are not from Malaysia, and not familiar with the term PMR, let me tell you. PMR stands for Penilainan Menengah Rendah, which basically means Lower Secondary Valuation or something like that. It is a public exam which form 3 students need to sit for. Form 3 students, are 15 years old, by the way. It is mainly important mainly because our results determine which stream we are eligible to take when we step into Upper Secondary.

I took the exam back in October, along with schoolmates and other Form 3 students nation-wide. I took 9 subjects, and I'm hoping to get straight A's. Of course, when you do something, and you put in a lot of effort and sacrifice for it, you'd want the best results. Who wouldn't, right?

With just 2 days before the big result day, I see a lot of PMR ex-candidates freaking out. Last night on Twitter, "This Thursday" "A's" and "PMR" all made to Malaysia's Trending Topics list. It was fun reading the tweets, hahaha. Some people were like "OMG OMG OMG", seniors who already took and received their results were saying stuff like "Take a chill pill" and "good luck!" among other motivational phrases, and juniors were like "It's gonna be me next year", "is it hard?", "I'm going to start studying really early!"  and other stuff.

With results day coming up soon, it's nothing but normal for ex-candidates to be nervous. Me? right now I'm feeling rather mutual. I'm not really nervous, nor am I confident. I just want to go to school, and receive what I will receive. Then, we'll see. I may be saying this today, but just wait until this Thursday. Maybe I would be really quiet, or I can't stop talking, which always happen when I'm nervous. I get really hyper. Well, who knows.

Although I am praying for straight A's , I am well aware of the fact that I may not get it. I mean, I have tried my best, I really did, but sometimes I can't help but wonder, was my best, enough? Truthfully, it doesn't cross my mind that often. I really think I've given my best. I was never the "extremist" type of student. I have my own flow, my own paste that works for me.

Let's just say that if I didn't get straight A's, I'm not going to beat my self up about it. What's the point? I can't change it. It's done. What has to be done, is done. It was finished when I turned in my last paper. I have done my part. done done done done just because I'm over-using it already hahaha  All that's left to do is pray because at the end of the day, it is Allah that settles all. I believe that whatever happens, there is a reason Allah has made it so. It's for the best, regardless of whether we know it of not. HE is the higher power. HE knows all.

In case I don't get straight A's, my reaction would depend on which subject(s) that I didn't score an A in. I know my weak subjects, I know my strong subjects, and I know my moderate subjects. If I didn't get an A in my weak subjects (Geography and History), it would be less depressing than not scoring in other subjects. I'm not saying that these subjects are less important, I'm saying that it's harder for me to score in these subjects in comparison to other subjects.

I'm planning to take the pure science stream next year. I wonder how studying Biology and Physics will be like. I wonder how being a Form 4 student will be like. I just know that on the first week of school, everything will probably be blurry. Hahaha, happens every new school year. I'll need to re-adapt to being a school student. LOL. Form 4 huh, Upper Secondary. It's like going up a level in a game. People call it the "honeymoon year". Really? I think it's nonsense. Well, whatever. Different people will define it differently.

Also, I have filled a form for residential school. The plan is to get into Sekolah Sains Sultan Mahmud (SESMA), which is my brother's ex-school. He enrolled there after his PMR too. I have friends there, too.A few from primary school, and others from drama class.The school is literally 10 minutes from my house. Maybe less. It's a fully residential school, and you know, fully residential school has it's perks and all. I'm up to try for anything. I may get accepted into the school like how my family is convinced of, and I may not get accepted to that school. There's also a possibility I'd get accepted to other residential school. Who knows, we'll just have to wait and see. Even if I get in, the earliest would be February.

When in situations like this, I say, Que Sera Sera. :)

On another note, I'm going to Johor Bahru because my cousin is getting hitched! Yeah! I've been home ever since the holiday started. On the computer, all day everyday. We're going to drive day right after I get my results. Hooray for family roadtrips!

Dear reader, please pray for me :) Only Allah can repay your deeds, InsyaAllah. Jazaakallah khair :)

So I guess that's it. Until next post, adios muchachos and muchachas.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Realistic dream.

Last night
At about half past two
I couldn’t sleep
I was thinking of you

I switched off the lights
And my mind wandered free
I thought about you
And I thought about me

In the silent darkness
I found serenity
I closed my eyes
And escaped reality

You were in front of me
I knew it wasn’t real
But the heavy heartache
I could no longer feel

In that moment
all the pain faded away
In that moment
I'd like to stay

My memories were no more
than leaves in autumn
like the wilted flowers
that used to blossom

I could feel your presence
But somehow I knew
It wasn’t happening
Even if I wanted it to

Suddenly you turned around
And ran away from me
In that second my dream
Was the same as reality

You’re not in my life any more
And there’s nothing I can do
Except keep moving on
And stop remembering you.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Jangan nak forward sangat.

Assalamualaikum semua yang boleh tersampai ke blog ni.

Harini aku nak tulis pasal mesej. Ya, mesej. Text. Pesanan ringkas. SMS. Sama je padahal. Saja nak tulis banyak-banyak. Aku bukan nak tulis pasal mesej "Salam, wt pe tuh?" ataupun yang lebih kurang dengan tu, tapi aku nak cakap pasal mesej yang forward-forward ni. Korang pernah kena tak? Kebanyakan korang mesti pernah kena punyalah.

Sekarang ni aku tengah tunggu result PMR kan, ada la dapat beberapa mesej yang macam ni. Aku jarang mesej, sebab tu, bila tengok "1 new message" tu, agak excited lah. Tengok-tengok mesej forward. Ah alaah. Spoil betul la. =_____=

Kalau nak forward doa ke, pesanan ke, nasihat ke, aku tak kisah. Bagus la. Tapi yang menjengkelkan tu bila baca kat hujung-hujung. Contoh:

"Forwardkan ke rakan-rakan yang sedang menunggu result. 1 orang = 1 A"

"Kalau forward dalam sepuluh hari dapat rezeki besar, kalau tak dapat bala" 

Ni yang aku tak suka ni.

First of all, sejak bila pulak meng-foward-kan message tu boleh tolong aku dapat result gempak? Asal tak bagitau awal-awal? Takdela aku sibuk nak ke kelas tambahan,buat homework, buat revision. Ye la, kalau dah 1 orang, dapat dah 1 A. Foward ke 9 orang, dah straight A's dalam genggaman. Selama ni, dari aku sekolah rendah zaman UPSR lagi, takda sekali pun penceramah / motivator / cikgu cakap kalau nak berjaya dalam exam, kena forward mesej. Aku belek buku "cara-cara menjadi pelajar cemerlang" pun takde pulak tulis kat situ. Malah, haritu pun masa belek soalan PMR, bahagian arahan tu, takde tulis jugak. Jadi aku nak tanya kat orang yang asal tulis mesej ni. Mana kau dapat benda ni. Mesti mesej ni ada asal-usul dia. Sapa yang tulis ni aku nak tengok sikit result dia. Kalau bukan straight A's dari mula persekolahan hingga akhir persekolahan, memang nak kena la. Tips kejayaan apa benda la macam ni.

Weh, ni aku nak bagitau. Result peperiksaan kau, ada kait ke dengan forward? hah? Jabatan Pelajaran ada nak check kau punya telefon tengok kau forward ke tak? Takda kan? Aku rasa takda. Kalau ada tak tahu la tu. -__-

Nak berjaya dalam peperiksaan, kita cuba yang terbaik. Buat sekadar termampu. Buat homework, pergi kelas tambahan, jaga hati ibu bapa, guru-guru, rakan-rakan. Biar berkat. Lepas kita dah cuba yang terbaik, kita pun teruskan berdoa. Ikhtiar, lepas tu tawakkal. Apa-apa yang berlaku dalam hidup kita, semua atas Allah SWT. Kita sebagai manusia hanya mampu merancang. Lepas tu, kalau result kita bukan seperti yang kita harapkan, kita harus menerima, kan? secangkir madu sepahit hempedu. Eh, apa kait madu dengan hempedu ni. Tetiba je. Lagipun, apa-apa yang terjadi, semua ada hikmah dia. Allah lebih mengetahui. Trust in Allah.

Contohnya, orang yang dah ditakdirkan mendapat straight A's ni, dia dah berusaha habis-habisan dengan doa segala, dia dapat mesej forward ni. Katakanlah, dia tak forward. Jadi dia tak dapat A langsung lah dalam exam?

1 lagi. Kita ambik pelajar yang memang tak ada keinginan nak study langsung. Boleh kata keinginan nak study tu -100%. Tetapi, semalas-malas pelajar ni, dia nak straight A's jugak. Dia dapat mesej ni. Dia ambik 8 subjek. Contoh. Dia forward mesej ni. Bukan setakat 8 orang, 80 orang dia forward kan. Ye lah, orang kredit melimpah kan, nak buat macam mana. Sebab dia forward mesej ni, dia akan dapat A lah?

Kalau situasi seperti di atas berlaku baru aku nak forward.
Mari kita fikir sejenak menggunakan logik akal.

Yang kait dengan rezeki dan bala tu lagi melampau. Cuba bagi source benda ni. Yang sahih la, yang tak sahih buat apa. Nak cerita soal rezeki dengan bala ni, aku bukannya pandai sangat kan. Yang aku tahu, semua tu, atas Allah belaka. Wallahualam.

Mungkin orang yang asal tulis mesej ni. Kira macam pokok pangkal dia la. Mungkin niat dia baik, tetapi ni bukan cara dia lah. Kalau tulis "forwardkan kepada rakan-rakan supaya berita ini tersebar" ke lebih kurang macam tu, boleh tahan. Tapi ni siap ada ganjaran / dendaan lagi apa cerita. Aku ni keras kepala, jadi kadang-kadang bila baca awal-awal tu boleh tahan lagi, ada dah rasa nak forward, lepas tu terbaca lah yang dekat hujung tu. Terus *tettttt* dah taknak forward.

Macam mana kalau aku dah niat nak penampar orang esok. Contohnya kita bagi nama Si A lah. Aku memnag dah tetap dalam hati ni nak tampar dia sekuat hati tanpa sebab yang munasabah. Lepas tu aku start lah satu chain message macam ni. "Esok kamu akan ditampar sampai pipi kau merah menyala kalah orang letak blusher 2 bekas kalau kamu tak forwardkan mesej ni kepada 3 orang". Aku hantar kat dia, lepas tu dia forward. Selamat tak dia?  Macam tak selamat je. Orang dah tetap dalam hati na tampar kau kena pandai-pandai la pujuk ke lari ke, setakat forward mesej, jangan nak selamat sangat.

Cukup lah aku membebel pasal benda ni. Moral of the story is, kalau korang ada nombor telefon aku, jangan la forward benda ni dekat aku. Lagi satu, sebelum kau percaya buta-buta benda ni, fikir dulu. Atas korang la nak forward ke tak kan, hak korang. Tetapi aku mintak tolong *melutut merayu ni* please please please kamu jangan nakal  JANGAN forward dekat aku. Serious membazir kredit kau je sebab aku pun bukannya nak forward.


Sunday, December 4, 2011

You walked away.

You walked away,
without saying goodbye,
I guess I wasn't worth it,
I was left to cry.

Time has passed,
and tears have dried,
but the heartache I feel,
needs more time to heal.

Until then I'll live,
the best I can,
I'll wait for the day,
You'll walk my way.

Since it was so easy,
for you to walk away,
It can't be that hard,
to walk back my way.


We're in the forest,
birds were chirping,
trees as green as ever,
and rays from the sun,
made the river shimmer,
t'was a flawless summer.

We're in the river,
you and me,
just you and me,
nothing but calm water in between,
you held my hand,
and gave me strength,
I closed my eyes,
immersing myself in the moment.

suddenly the currents got violent,
the sky turned dark,
thunder roared fiercely,
and the trees were burning,
but I still had you,
so I thought.

I stared into your eyes,
trusted you, believed,
I held onto you tighter,
to trust was a mistake.

water rose to my chin,
my hands were empty then,
you were far, and going further,
I kept trying to reach you,
as I slowly drown I realise,
you didn't drift away,
you let me go.

You left me to drown.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Goodbye, Shiroi.

Hello readers, Assalamualaikum, peace be upon you <3

One of my cats, Shiroi, died earlier today :'(

She's one of the white ones. This is a picture from when she was still a newborn kitten.

I thought she was healthy already... She didn't show any signs of illness or anything. I thought she was recovering smoothly. I guess, what we think, is not always what is. Hmm...

November 10th.

I woke up in the afternoon, I slept late the night before. I stepped out of my room just to find my maid screaming at me "Shiroi's stomach is open, her insides are out!" I was shocked! You see, a few weeks earlier she underwent a surgery to sterilise her with 3 other cats.

At that time, only my maid and I are at home. My parents were at work. My mom was at her office, and my dad had a seminar or something at a hotel in town. My maid had called my neighbour, also a cat owner. We were going to take her to the vet. After showering, I went outside to look at Shiroi. Her surgical cut was open. We don't know exactly how it happened, but you could see her intestines and what not. Amazingly, Shiroi was still breathing. She was still alive. She seemed pretty calm, actually. She didn't even meow or seemed weak. She was just sitting there, in the cage that my maid put her into, as if every thing's normal.

Long story short I followed my neighbour to the vet. I texted my dad, and he called me to tell me to do everything that will be best for Shiroi and if any payment is needed, borrow our neighbour's money and we will pay her back. Luckily, it happened on a weekday, and we found her just in time. It was a Thursday, and office hours end at 3:30PM. We reached the vet at 1:50PM or so. Then my neighbour talked to the vet and left me in the waiting room. She had to pick up her husband. I've never went to the public vet. It was my first time there. My family always went to a private vet.

The vet gave Shiroi a tranquillizer, and Shiroi slowly closed her eyes, sleep-like. The vet continued to treat the other cats that their owners brought. It was hard, sitting there, waiting. Everyone who came in was like "What happened?!" and all. Telling them what happened. Their reactions to seeing my cat like that. Some were moderate, some went overly dramatic.

One guy came in, and he actually went to Shiroi and patted her head. The others didn't dare to go near her. He came with his friend, who upon seeing Shiroi went "blergh!" and walked out the door and came back in after a second. That guy who went to pat Shiroi was really nice. We talked a little, that helped calmed me down. After their cat was injected, they left.

The vet came to check on Shiroi again. He said that he needed to inject him with anaesthetic, but it was risky. Shiroi became weak after she was given the tranquillizer, and if she is given the anaesthetic, there is a chance that she'd die right away, but no matter how risky it was, there was no choice. Sometimes we need to take risks, and just pray for the best. I texted my dad again.

Soon after, the vet told me to carry her cage into the room where he treats the animals. He picked Shiroi up and carried her to the sink. Then he started cleaning her insides, and removing unnecessary fat. I watched it all from the start. Then the vet placed her on this metal table of some kind, and tied all four of her legs, so she was spread apart. I had to hold myself together.

I watched every single move of the vet. He was careful during the whole the procedure. I just stood there, watching from near the door so the vet can have enough space. My neighbours arrived, and soon after, my dad. He left the seminar early. I watched the vet did every thing. From putting her insides back into her body, to closing the opening. Sewing it shut.

The vet and my neighbours kept saying stuff like "she must be a naughty one" but actually she wasn't. She didn't climb things, nor did she run. Betty, who was also sterilised climbed the big aquarium, but still, nothing happened to her, thank God. There was a possibility that the cut had a small opening, but we didn't realize and it tore bigger. Just that morning my dad let her out of her cage as usual before he went to work. Hmm, Wallahualam.

After what has to be done is done, we went home. The vet said that the anaesthetic would usually last about 4-5 hours, but Shiroi is weak, so it may be more, or she won't wake up at all. We placed her right outside my room. I checked on her very often. I went online, as usual, and my friends are kind enough to give me motivation and comforting words. Thanks guys. ♥

Every time I check up on her, I'd pat her head and talk to her. Asking her to come back, and what not. Ten hours passed, she was still unconscious. I cried that night :'(

When I woke up in the morning, she was still unconscious. I tried to be optimistic, but I'm kinda realistic, and I can't deny that hope is very thin. Nevertheless, a drowning man will clutch a straw. A strand of hope is still hope nonetheless.

I went lawn bowling that day, and when I returned home in the afternoon, I went to check up on Shiroi again. You can't imagine how grateful I was to see her with her eyes open. She even lifted her head when I called her. At first she didn't eat anything, nor drink but I fed her milk using a straw and she'd lick it. She would only lick once or twice. She was still very weak, but she managed to stand up, and she ended up sitting in a sphinx position. She's so stubborn >.<

Over the days, she got better. She even got her appetite back. We placed her outside with the other cats. Since then everything was pretty much back to normal...

at least until today :(

It was just time I guess. It was her time to go.

A passionate man.

Hello and Assalamualaikum people, peace be upon you :)

Today I just feel like writing about a man who is very passionate about the things he does. He's truly inspiring. That man is none other than...

Photo taken from www.questcrew.com

Victor Kim 
a.k.a Victor King.

"Who is Victor Kim?" you might ask. Well, I don't know personally. I only know him by stalking him over the internet watching the videos he uploads on his YouTube channel. In a nutshell, he is a dancer and a musician.

You see, I spend my time on the internet a lot (maybe too much), and I like to check out new things. If I'm not mistaken, I started watching his videos from a link on one of Ryan Higa's videos. From then, I started watching The Quest Crew too. So I guess I have to thank Ryan Higa hahaha!

members of Quest Crew. Credits to www.questcrew.com

Apart from being a part of the awesome Quest Crew (Season 3 champions of America's Best Dance Crew), he is, as I said before, a musician. He's a very good singer. You can hear him sing covers of various songs on his YouTube channel.

OK, enough of the things you can Google.

:3 Screencapped from this video

He's funny, talented, good looking, hard working... (Crush symptoms. Don't heal me)

Why do I call him "passionate"? "inspiring"?

It's just the way he is, you know,  you can see his passion, in every key of the piano that he plays, every string of the ukulele that he strums, every word that he sings. Even when he dances, you can see that he's enjoying the moment. I admire anybody who has the ability to do that, to be passionate about something.Whatever it is. People who do what they love, and love what they do.

Even in the videos where he isn't singing or dancing, I just want to hear him talk, you know. Wow this is starting to sound very creepy o__o  I'm sorry ;__; . When he talks about his life and the things he does, the words he chose, the way he says it. There's this attraction. This "vibe".

What truly inspires me is how hard working he is in achieving his dreams. "I've got the dreamer's disease" - His Twitter profile. He not only dares to dream it, he dares to work for it, and he's enjoying every single moment. He's humble, he always thanks his fans :)

Well, honestly I don't know what else to say. You, readers, should really check him out, you'll know what I'm talking about. :)

I wish I could meet him someday. If that ever happens, I will probably either freeze or spazz out, then the whole thing will end with me embarrassing myself by saying something like "adnioafmlafmiapumehie". Yep, pretty much. Hahaha.

That's all for now, signed,

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Melawat sekolah rendah aku dulu.

Assalamualaikum ^__^

So yeah, this is another blogpost. I swear the number of blogpost will increase in this end-of-year. What else is there to do? XD


Pagi tadi aku pergi ke sekolah rendah aku. Saje je, awal-awal tu ade la berapa orang sama batch UPSR dengan aku nak datang sama, last-last beberapa orang je. Aku pulak seorang je yang perempuan -____- nice.

Datang pagi-pagi lepas tu tunggu member. Sorang je datang pagi , sebab dia datang sekali dengan adik dai yang ambik result. Oh ye, lupa nak sebut, pagi tadi calon-calon UPSR dapat keputusan. -Baru sedar lepas ni aku pulak kena ambik keputusan PMR- ok, itu lain cerita.

Last-last jalan 2 orang jumpa cikgu-cikgu. Walaupun ada dah yang pindah, masih berpeluang berjumpa dengan guru-guru yang masih bertugas kat situ. Wow, memori memori...

Banyak reaksi dari cikgu-cikgu tadi. Antaranya:

"wah, besar dah!"

"makin besar (gemuk)" ok thanks I wasn't aware of that *sarcasm*.

"Tengok adik ambik result ke?" Padahal aku takde adik. haha.

"Buat practical ke sekarang?" WHUT. Baru lepas PMR cikgu =______="

yang lain biasa la, tanya pasal exam, parents, sekolah, etc.

Paling seronok jumpa junior yang masih cam aku. "Kak Sofia~~!!!" Gosh little people, why you so cute?!

Budak-budak Kelab Ulul Albab 2008 lah, masa tu diorang darjah 3 dan darjah 2. Haritu latih diorang Choral Speaking. Harini pulak aku tengok diorang ambik result UPSR. Wow, just wow. I'm 15 already, huh? ._____.

Tadi lepas jumpa cikgu-cikgu, pergi kat kantin. Kumpul sekali dengan budak ambik result. Buat macam ibu bapa nak tengok anak ambik result haha. Masa tu kawan-kawan lain datang dah. Lepas habis umum result, diorang pun pergi jalan-jalan, tinggal aku sorang. Memang kurang asam. Bukan main ajak aku, lepas tu tinggal aku sorang. Merajuk ah camni. :"(

ok not seriously. Junior-junior aku jugak kot. It was my school first any ways.

Tapi sekolah aku berbeza sekarang. Jauh beza dengan masa aku dan abang aku dulu. Jauh sekali. Agak hiba jugak lah. Mungkin bukan sekolah aku je kot, mungkin memang inilah yang terjadi dengan generasi sekarang. :/ 

Tadi ada jugak masa rasa macam nak terajang budak. Dengan bahasa nya segala. Tapi kalau fikirkan balik, diorang belajar dari siapa? Abang-abang dan kakak-kakak diorang jugak, budak-budak yang umur aku jugak. Seterusnya, budak-budak sekarang pulak yang akan mempengaruhi budak-budak akan datang. Apa-apa pun, kita berdoa je lah supaya benda akan menjadi lebih baik :(

. . .
. . . .
. . . . .
. . . . . .

Result UPSR 2011 dah keluar, lepas ni result PMR pulak. Setakat ni takda lagi debaran-debaran sampai makan tak kenyang  (sejak bila aku pernah kenyang?), mandi tak basah, tidur tak lena. Tengok la 2-3 hari ke seminggu sebelum result keluar, mula la. Kalau aku rasa nanti, aku update kat blog ni OK :P

Apa-apa pun, aku dah cuba. "Kegagalan sebenar adalah apabila kita berhenti mencuba".

Dengar cerita result PMR keluar 28 Disember ni... Hmm, sempat lagi nak bergembira ni. Hahaha. Ambil peluang untuk bergembira dulu, lepas result nanti kena uruskan apa yang patut, lepas tu masuk sekolah balik. Form 4, more subjects. FUN FUN FUN.

SPM 2013 insyaAllah.

Sigh, after all that has to be done is done, all I can say is. Que Sera Sera.

Salam perpisahan...
agak romantis di situ.

Monday, November 14, 2011

When I feel like opposing stuff


Hye, it's 1:44am and I can't sleep so I thought "Time to blog! :D" . My common sense > your common sense. DEAL WITH IT.
*dramatic background music*

So today, or actually yesterday, I went to the finale of The Great Gender Debate I told you about. So there was 2 categories, Bahasa Melayu and English. I thought it was the final for the English category, but I misread the schedule and turns out the final for the English category was on Friday :( oh well, I enjoyed watching the final for the Bahasa Melayu category.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I favor English over my mother-tongue in an extremist (if I may use that word) way, it's that I wanted to see the English category because I participated in English Parliamentary-style debate competitions in school before, and I think I could learn a lot from watching. People don't take me to enter Bahas Bahasa Melayu, though :( I wouldn't trust myself to represent the school too :P If it was something inside the school, maybe I'd give it a try :D

I followed my mom to her office, then we made our way to the Sultan Mizan Hall (the venue of the closing ceremony + final debate). I was shocked when I saw students from my school walked in o_____o" ! I literally said "What are THEY doing HERE?!?!" . It was cool, I met some of my friends :D After the VIPs came, they kicked it off with a gimmick. A few men in traditional Baju Melayu costumes came in and one of them, the leader, carried the Datuk Seri Shahrizat Abdul Jalil trophy. Accompanying them was 2 rows of very pretty ladies, dressed in white dresses.

the gimmick

So, moving on...
It was between Universiti Malaya (as the government) and Universiti Malaysia Pahang (as the opposition). The motion was "Gender Quota at Malaysia's Public Higher Learning Institutions". Personally, I have been on the opposition team from the start. Not because I'm a fan of UMP or whatever, but I personally disagree with the motion.

government - Speaker of the House - opposition

The "government"'s reason to make a quota? To minimize the gap of the number of female students and male students in higher learning institutions. If I'm not mistaken men are only 1/5 of the whole amount of students in higher learning institutions. The quota will be depending on the majority gender that applied, and depending on the institutions themselves to apply what they think is necessary. Let me explain, if more women applied, then the 65% will go to them, and vice versa but in institutes that focus more on military or technical stuff, they have the liberty to set the quota according to what they think is suitable. Even if the a quota is set, the applicants would still need to be worthy of acceptance into the institutions. So they will carry out both a merit system and the quota. 

Yeah, I think I got that part right. I was sitting at the back, and sometimes I didn't manage to capture what they were saying. I didn't write anything down, too. I am lazy. Woah that's the surprise of the century.

Well, I am not a University student, nor am I an educator, nor am I a minister but I find the suggestion flawed. Wouldn't it be a little biased? I mean the slightly weak applicants of the dominating gender would have more chances of getting accepted than the possibly more eligible applicants of the other gender. Yeah, they would still be "eligible" but who deserves it more? The problem itself, I think it would be best if it is attended to from the source of the problem. It's not like men have to go through more interviews to get into these institutions or something, you know what I mean, gender is not something that effects your admittance.

It was mentioned that the number of men that apply are less than that of women. Instead of giving them a higher chance of making it, I think it's be best if we address this problem by preventing it. I mean like, do something while they're still in school, because before applying to a higher education institution, you need to do well in school first right? I don't see how setting a quota would solve the problem of the gap :/

What do you think? 
Leave a comment below :)

Then, it was the closing ceremony.
First was the poem recitation. Then the traditional dance, "Ulek Mayang" . You don't even know how much I like "Ulek Mayang"! The history of the dance itself is filled with myths and stuff. Some people find it creepy, but I even used it to fall asleep :P Then the same group performed a 1Malaysia dance. Next, choir. The best performance of the day, I'd say! The female solo vocalist, that girl has talent, REAL talent. They performed 3 songs.

Ulek Mayang performance
the choir.

After that, it was time for speeches.

Finally, the prize giving ceremony. In the Bahasa Malaysia category, UMP emerged as champion, and UM  was 1st runner up. In the English category, UiTM was champion, followed by Universiti Malaysia Sarawak (Unimas). Champions received RM7000, certificates, books, and of course, the trophy. 2nd place went back with RM3500, certificates and books.

The best debaters were Siti Aishah Mustapha from UMP for the BM category, and Maizura Mokhsin from UiTM for the English category. They received prize money worth RM500 and a certificate.

CONGRATULATIONS! to all participants and their universities, whether stated here, or not. :)

Man, I miss the debate experience while I was in SMKA Tok Jiring. This year sucked. I'm just gonna say it like that. It was 2009, first year of secondary school. I miss the long hours of preparation, the anxiety. I am blessed to share the experience with Kak Aishah, Kak Raihan, Kak Aina and Kak Afini - all of them are my seniors by 3 years. Not to forget the teachers who guided us from the start, we were all beginners. Teacher Wan, Teacher Dayang, Teacher Normala, Teacher Rosidah <3 Being on stage, trying not to stutter, when the crowd cheers in agreement, the satisfaction when being able to answer the opponent's Point of Information. The frustration and anger when we got the wrong motion. Man, were we pissed!  I miss those. I missed a lot of classes during that period of time, but the experience is priceless!

p.s it's 3:15am now. bye.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


Whaddup blog-walking peeps?

So, I have done absolutely nothing interesting since my last post. Boo hoo, myself.

Well, I did go to a Shimasen performance. It was cool, but I wasn't in the mood to be somewhere public that night, so yeah. :/ The Shimasen is a three-stringed instrument. If you want to know more, well, the first thing you should do Google search it, because I'm certainly not going to tell you anything xP

In other news, my brother has already made a blog! :D He didn't go with the plan, though. He went all dark and emo-ish with his blog title. Who knows what's up with that... haha.

Go follow him, show him some love, you know you want to. He's not cool. He's still new to this "blogging' thing, but hey, we all got to start somewhere, right? 

Also, his SPM starts this 14th. I would like to take this opportunity to say....

Good Luck 2011 SPM-ers! 

-Study sentimental, score heavy metal \m/ - 

Haha. got that quote from Asfar. You guys should check out his blog, too. You'll be sure to laugh, but he's doesn't blog as often as he used to anymore. :/ boo, Asfar, boo. Haha, just kidding :P

Oh, I saw a poster the other day, and it seems pretty interesting. "The Great Gender Debate" - sounds fascinating, huh? It's on the  9th to 13th November, and it will be held at University Malaysia Terengganu, so hopefully getting there won't be a problem. It's organised by the NAM Institute for the Empowerment of Women (NIEW), and Dato' Seri Shahrizat Abdul Jalil, the Minister of Women, Family and Community Development is expected to officialise the closing ceremony :D My mom said she'll ask her friend, who is part of the committee to find out about the details. Can't wait! :D

So, that's it, I guess. 
Safe waters, blog-walkers...

Yes, that didn't make any sense, I made it up 'cause that's how I do.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

This is how I roll.

Salam semua. :)

Ini caranya aku berguling.

Jujur aku kata kalau sebelum PMR aku expect lepas PMR nanti aku nak berseronok, enjoy, buat bende yang aku tak ada masa nak buat. Nak pergi pantai, nak keluar bandar, nak outing tangkap gambar, naik basikal, shopping, melancong segala.

Tapi sekarang ...  

dramatik tak macam tu.

H.A.M.P.E.H *Cue sound effect tayar pancit*

Apa yang aku buat sekarang? 

  • Twitter: Post benda-benda rambang yang tak berfaedah yang orang tak kesah sehabuk pun tapi aku syok lebih woohoo. 
  • Tumblr: Baca benda-benda rambang, tengok gambar-gambar, tengok semua post orang lain lantas menyedarkan diriku bahawa aku tidak "cool" seperti mereka. kuang. kuang. kuang. Then reblog, reblog, reblog.
  • Facebook. Jenguk-jenguk je. Share benda yang aku rasa patut di-share-kan. Post lirik-lirik lagu sebagai status. Menilai diri orang lain berdasarkan apa yang mereka tulis (jujur okay). Padahal macam aku kesah sangat lol. Tapi sekarang aku dah deactivate. Yeah, thumbs up *bangga*. Kenapa la aku tak deactivate berkurun-kurun lalu. Mungkin suatu hari nanti aku akan kembali *evil laugh.
  • Dengar lagu. Macam biasa. Macam boss.
Apa yang aku boleh buat tapi tak buat pun:
  • Bersosial dengan orang se-generasi yang bukan di alam maya. Tak ada mood kot sebab sekarang ni aku tengah melalui fasa dimana sekecil-kecil perkara yang orang buat, boleh membuat aku menyampah. Serious. 
  • Baca novel. Aku baca, tapi kadang-kadang. Haritu baca dah satu, dan semalam aku dah beli satu lagi. Pengakuan: plastik pun aku tak bukak lagi. Sayang lah buku tu ( bijak tak aku cover? ).
  • Excercise. HAHAHAHAHA jauh sekali. Selain daripada boling padang, excercise aku adalah excercise ringan seperti excercise jari ketika aku scroll, click, type dan gerakkan tetikus ketika menggunakan komputer. Selain itu, aku juga jalan ke hulu ke hilir rumah aku. Contohnya, berjalan dari komputer ke tandas, dan dari komputer ke dapur. Excercise tangan ketika aku menyuapkan makanan ke dalam mulut. Excercise otot-otot di muka ketika aku mengunyah makanan. Ya, aku dah terlebih merapu dah ni.
  • Keluar dengan kawan. Kawan? apakah? boleh download tak? I'm just kidding but seriously. 
  • Pergi ikut lawatan kelas. Aku tak pergi. Korang nak tahu tak sebab aku tak nak pergi, sebab ni memang betul-betul kukuh dan tidak boleh dipersoalkan. Sebab... aku tak nak pergi. Kenapa aku tak nak pergi? Sebab aku tak nak. The end. Moga-moga diorang berseronok lah.
  • Buat suatu perkara kreatif seperti melukis. Cuba lukis, tak jadi, buang kertas. Kemudian ulang tayang sehingga fed-up dengan kekurangan diri untuk menghasilkan sesuatu yang lawa. Buat gelang menggunakan benang kait yang aku dah beli zaman lepas. Aku buat jugak sikit-sikit, tapi entah, buat 2-3, then cuti 2 mingggu. Haha. 
  • Buat facial menggunakan telur seperti dalam video kat YouTube. Maybe suatu hari nanti aku buat. Memang aku suka lesek benda berlendir atas muka aku.
  • Belajar memasak. Sori, aku terlalu sibuk makan masakan orang lain untuk belajar masak. Maaf, ya. 
  • Tackle orang. Takde masa la. Kalau aku sibuk tackle orang, sape nak spam timeline Twitter follower-follower aku? Sape nak uruskan blog aku? siapa? SIAPA?!
  • Tukar header blog. Niat tu ada, tapi idea itu tiada. Cubaan itu ada, kamera pulak takda. *angkat bahu. mehh. papela.
Banyak lagi benda aku boleh buat, but I guess you get the picture.

Oh yeah, abang aku bagitau aku dia dah baca blog aku O___o Dia kata "best pe" . Woh, terharu kot. Haha. Sekarang, dia pun nak buat blog. Yes, aku berjaya mempengaruhi abang aku :P Tetapi, sekarang dia sibuk dengan SPM segala.

----Eh bro, you reading this? Adik dah lepas exam, abang dah lepas?! *histerical laughing.-----

InsyaAllah bila dia balik rumah masa cuti Raya Haji kitorang akan bina. Maka menjadikan kami adik-beradik ber-blog (What). Title dah pilih. "Kira 'cool' lah" . Kira memang cool pun kalau nak letak title bende tu, biarpun tu catchphrase aku. Just saying. But it's cool, takpe bang, adik restu. Hahaha. Description boleh letak "Aku ada blog". Jadi bila gabung, jadi "Kira 'cool' lah - Aku ada blog" . Haha get it? no? obviously my humour is too awesome for you.  Perasan tak aku buat perkaraan "cool" warna biru sebab : cool = sejuk  dan biru kan 'warna sejuk' . Wow, statement tersebut berjaya menyerlahkan ke-nerd-an aku. *baiki kedudukan cemin mata

Eh, eh, aku dah bocor rahsia tentang plan kita :O ! Macam mana kalau ada orang ciplak? Kira tak cool la macam tu. Kau curi, aku akan blog pasal kau, pencuri. Haha. Rasakan peluru-peluru perkataan aku! siap caps-lock aku bagi kang! tahu takut.


Mungkin anda tertanya 'Eh budak ni tak pergi sekolah ke? bertuah betul". Jawapannya tidak. Woh, rasa macam "sek top" pulak. "Top" lah sangat kan. Ew.  Sebenarnya aku tengah tunggu Tom Kaulitz masuk minang takda hal pun pergi sekolah, tetapi asal aku pergi je, ada je perkara yang akan buat aku tak puas hati. Lantas aku buat pilihan untuk menyimpan keamanan yang aku ada sekarang. Biarkan aku dengan kegembiraan aku, wahai manusia-manusia. Kadang-kadang aku pergi jugak k.

Maybe tu je kot benda tak berfaedah yang aku akan post harini. Sekian terima kasih.

Sehingga post akan datang, Assalamualaikum.

*Exit macam orang tersingkir dari America's Next Top Model

Eh kejap, blog aku, korang ah keluar =="

P.s aku rasa layout blog aku ni macam sendat je, post nampak sempit dan panjang.


Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Ayat datang masa tengah baca novel cinta :P

setiap pagi
setiap petang
semuanya seakan malam bagiku
tiada lagi kehangatan matahari 
untuk menyinari hidup ini
yang tinggal hanya cahaya
sang rembulan yang sepi
apa ertinya seulas senyuman
jika hati berhancuran
pudar sudah kelipan harapan
yang dahulunya gemerlapan
kini segalanya suram dan sunyi
berikan semangatku kembali
kembalikan padaku keriangan
kembalikan padaku kebahagiaan yang dahulu
aku merinduimu
aku memerlukanmu

*So Please Don't Take My Sunshine Away~*

Matahariku. Ada kalanya kamu pergi menyinari hidup insan2 lain. Ada kalanya hujan jatuh kebumi. Tetapi, aku menanti, kerana aku begitu yakin bahawa dikau akan kembali. <3

Friday, October 14, 2011


The last time I posted my poetry ( well, almost poetry ) was last MAY! O__________O

Yes, I have been lacking inspiration since then, and I was busy, and yadda yadda yadda etc etc etc . whatever.

So, here's one I wrote not so long ago. :) I'ts called Helium.


If you were a child
I'd be your balloon 
filled with helium
floating, but still unfree

You'd hold on to me
take me everywhere you go
You'd hold on to me
You'd never let me go

Harsh winds
might blow me away
and I might disappear
hold on to me tighter
tie me to your finger

if you let me go
i would only get lost
floating with no cause
puchedf to all directions
clueless and lonely. 

That's it. It's kinda weak :( mindblock grrr.. I used so many pages of my book to finally have one I settled with. I still like the concept and the symbolic-ness. Yes, I make words up, bare me.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


Assalamualaikum, peace be upon you.


That's exactly how I felt after the last paper ended. At least I have managed to sit for all the papers, Alhamdulillah..

Next, results.. but that's still a long time to wait. Hmm, I just want to be a teenager for now.

Please pray that I get straight A's :)

Whatever result I get, I may or may not hate myself for it in the future, but it will be the product of my own sweat and tears ( well, not literally, but you know what I mean ). People who cheat, if you get straight As, what would it mean? well, whatever. It's none of my business, I guess.

What to do, what to do? Well, the school has activities lined up, to be honest, I'm not really excited. To be more honest, I kinda dislike SOME of the people in school, and I have been waiting for the time that I don't have to meet them everyday. Does that make me bad? well, at least I'm honest. Besides, I wouldn't hate people if they haven't done anything that made me hate them. Haha.

and of course, LAWN BOWLING! Haha! I'll be doing a lot of that now :P City Night Games is on this coming 22nd, and sooner, tonight there will be a friendly match between the SUKMA team. I know some of them have just finished their exams too, who knows, maybe I'll be able to make some new friends. Nida is tagging along tonight, and hopefully, Emylia too.

AAAAAANNNDDDD, I've talked to the teacher in my school about doing a Lawn Bowling Clinic thing. My dad and I have been talking about this for ages. Finally, it's happening! Well, nothing's confirmed, but things are looking pretty bright, teehee. 20 people would be nice, so we're probably just gonna bring kinds from my class. Maybe the principal will want to join us ;P Really hoping for this to happen! I talk about lawn bowling so much with my friends, and some of them seem really interested :D

woohoo, I'm gonna continue being a teenager now, bye!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Eid and lights

Assalamualaikum wbt.

This blog has turned into a desert, I know. I didn't even post an Eid post o__O ... Never got around it, I guess. OK, let's do this by topic.

1. Eid

Eid was fun, but not as fun as past years. I didn't even get to meet Uncle Salleh's (my fater's eldest brother) family :(  What I got to do though, was go watch a movie at the cinema with my brother and cousins. This year, there was only four of us. That's the least so far! We watched "Hantu Bonceng" - an action comedy movie. It was awesome! Me and Uteh ( my cousin ) wore our Eid outfits LOL. The holiday for Eid this year was so short! TOO SHORT ==" I spent 3 nights at my Grandma's house in Rompin, Pahang then we made our way to Johor Bahru, Johor. We stayed at my uncle's house for two nights.

In Rompin, the whole family was busy preparing for Eid, as always. We made Burasak and Ketupat. My aunt and cousins cooked other side-dishes to go with them, of course. I can't cook ;___;  I didn't really help in making the Ketupat, but I did help in making the Burasak, I swear! Don't believe me? Ask my grandma lol. Burasak is a traditional dish of the Bugis community. You see, my dad is of Bugis descendant. Starting from my dad and upwards, everybody is Bugis :) Man, I wish I knew how to speak Buginese (does that term exist?). I only know a few phrases and words, thanks to my uncles. My father's siblings can speak it, but he can't. He understands most of it, though. Cooking burasak is a long process, it has many steps, and it takes about 6 hours to cook on a stove! It turned out marvelous, but it still didn't reach my grandma's bar. Haha, oh well, people ate it anyways! I hope next year will be better, InsyaAllah :)

The Burasak, before cooking.

Endau, Johor. Wet market. They were playing with the bull's head. Digging the brains out and what not.

2. Eid celebration at school. 

It was marvelous! I had so much fun :) I brought along my camera and I managed to take a lot of pictures which of course, ended up on Facebook that night :P The food was nice, we paid for it the week before, so let's just say it's a good thing it was delicious! My friends and I didn't really bother for food, we were busy taking pictures. The had an open Karaoke booth right in the middle of the assembly, where tents have been put up for the classes' "open house". A lot of people took the chance to show off their talents.

Happy 54th anniversary of independence, Malaysia <3

Puan Norma a.k.a Ibu sropped by! :D

The principal and me :) I kinda ruined the colour :(

I also hurt my toe on that day. The middle one on my right foot. I accidentally indirectly sat on it using a chair (that may not make sense but that was how it was lol). I sat on the chair while one of the chair's feet was on my foot. I screamed. Lucky I was in class, and not in the middle of the celebration. At first I thought it would be over soon, but then it started bleeding. There's like a hole in my toe. Still haven't healed completely, but it doesn't hurt anymore. I wear bandages on it when needed, and when I do, I draw a smiley on it. Haha, I did that in school the other day, and I was practically showing it off to my friends. I was like "Hey wanna meet my friend?" Hahahaha. I still managed to get through the day. Thanks to my Sarah and Ainun, who helped me a lot! <3 Then I spent time with Tehah, Wani and Shafa just wandering around different areas, taking pictures and just loitering :P

Also on that day, the school invited a few journalists from a local newspaper to take pictures of the celebration. It was a nice view seeing students and teachers smiling, holding the Jalur Gemilang.

Best Eid celebration yet!  More photos here. Tomorrow, my school will hold the Merdeka run. Other competitions will also be held. I intended on entering the poem recitation, but backed out. I was worried that it might take me out of my classes and whatever. Maybe some other time :)

3. Lip-lap project

OK, this is me trying to be hipster. Haha. "Lip-lap" is what people in my district use for "flicker". It isn't pronounced the same way as the English words for "lip" and "lap" hahaha. I made my father promise me to put flickering lights in my room even since Eid. Haha, you see, during Eid, people like to decorate their house with these.(if you're still not getting it, they're basically Christmast lights, only for Eid LOL) ;P
I was ready with the ladder to take down the lights from the garage, but Mom suggested that it would be easier if we just buy new ones. Suggestion: accepted. Haha. My dad and I went to 2 stores looking for them. Eid season was almost over, so it was hard. The first store had them, but they're not the right ones Haha picky me. The second store, which I managed to persuade my father to check out had the most perfect ones! And it was so cheap! I got two boxes of them. My father helped to put them up in my room later than night.

before I knew what to do with them

Starfish. But they look (kinda) like stars. (Obviously)

view from below.

end product.

I guess that's it for now!

PMR is in 21 days! o__o and I'm still a lazy sloth ==" wargh, Please pray for me :)

Assalamualaikum, take care :)

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Streaming & Kem Akademi PMR siri 9/2011

Assalamualaikum wbt .

Apa khabar stalker-stalker blog sekalian?

Sekarang ni, kawan-kawan kat sekolah, aku pulak update blog di rumah. Special? tidak. Malas? mungkin. Demam? agak la. Haha

Hadoo, sayang pulak rasa tak pergi sekolah harini. Entah-entah harini jugak hari Pengetua panggil budak target. Tolong la jangan, aku nak jumpa gak Tuan Pengetua, tak aci tak aci >.< Hari ni hari last sebelum streaming semula bermula. Nanti lebih kurang 12 daripada kelas aku pergi kelas lain. Takpe takpe, relaks, tukar kelas je kot. Bukannya tak boleh jumpa forever and ever.

Dahla seminggu dah tak pergi sekolah.


Aku bukan ponteng la ==" bukan seperti fitnah yang dilemparkan oleh anonymous di atas. Kalau korang ada baca blogpost yang sebelum blogpost ni (ayat berbelit menunjukkan kreativiti). Baru-baru ni, aku terpilih untuk mengikuti  Kem Akademi PMR Siri 9/2011 dari 13hb Ogos hingga 16hb Ogos di Permai Inn, Kuala Terengganu.

Kem ini merupakan antara langkah-langkah yang diambil oleh Jabatan Pelajaran Negeri Terengganu demi merialisasikan gagasan "20 10 5 2".

20 10 5 2? ape tu? kod rahsiakah? nombor telefon aweks kah?

20 : 20% daripada calon-calon dari Terengganu straight As untuk UPSR
10: 10%  daripada calon-calon dari Terengganu straight As untuk PMR
5: 5% daripada calon-calon dari Terengganu straight As untuk SPM
2: 2% daripada calon-calon dari Terengganu straight As untuk STPM

ooo baru tau.

Of course lah kem ni untuk mencapai 10% tu. Kem Akademi PMR diadakan bersiri-siri, dan jumlahnya 15 siri sepenuhnya. Siri ni, guru-guru di sekolah memilih 2-3 orang untuk menyertai kem ini. Alhamdulillah, guru-guru di sekolah aku bagi aku peluang.

Kem ini sangatlah best. Selama 4 hari 3 malam, banyak perkara aku belajar, banyak perkara aku alami. Moga-moga ilmu yang ditimba dapat membantu aku dalam PMR, dan seterusnya sepanjang hidup aku.
1 bilik hotel tu, kongsi 4 orang. Para urusetia sengaja memisahkan orang yang sekolah sama, supaya kitorang dapat bergaul dengan orang-orang baru, sekaligus mengelakkan budaya "anti-social" - LOL. Bilik aku: aku, Abariah, Syafiqah, Husna. Bilik 211.

Sepanjang berkampung kat sana, baju sejuk memang tak lepas, ubat selsema memang tak tinggal sebab dewan dia tu sejuk sangat! asal break je, mesti keluar sekejap, cari haba. Haha. Tapi kitorang punya bilik kitorang set air-con sejuk sikit masa malam, siang kitorang buat biasa je. Kang dewan sejuk, bilik sejuk beku la jawabnye.

Fasilitator-fasilitator yang hadir bagi setiap matapelajaran juga banyak membantu. Buat pengetahuan pembaca, kem ini menitikberatkan 5 subjek "killer" iaitu Sejarah, Geografi, Matematik, Sains dan Bahasa Inggeris. Setiap subjek, 4 jam. 2 jam satu slot. Kecuali BI, tambah 1 jam setengah. Dalam ramai-ramai fasilitator, ada 4 orang yang aku kenal. 2 orang dari sekolah lama, 2 orang dari sekolah sekarang. Tak kesah lah kenal ke tidak kan, kalau pergi mana-mana muka sama je jemu jugak kan? hehe.

Masa slot ke-2 BI, teacher mintak aku baca jawapan aku. Aku pun baca je lah kan, no big deal. Ada peserta lelaki sorang tu tepuk tangan dan jerit "Amerika bohhhh!". Tah pape. Kang aku baca manglish kang gelak, aku baca British kang kata Harry Potter. ececeh.

Dalam slot Sains pulak, cikgu sebut "Hammer" lepas tu tak tahu kenapa memang dah jadi respons spontan sebut "Tukul!" HAHAHAHA. Cikgu pun kata "tak perlu la translate kat saya hammer tu tukul, English saya lagi maju dari awak punya kot" LOL . Seriously masa tu tak tahu apa motif cikgu sebut benda kejadah tu, jadi translate je lah. Hahahaha tah pape.

Dah tak tau nak citer apa lagi.. maka kita berhenti setakan ni jelah, okay? :)


Saturday, August 13, 2011

Trial and camp.

Assalamualaikum wbt dear readers :)

Trial for the PMR exam ended the week before last week and I've received all my results.
 I got 5As and 4Bs.

I managed to boost my marks for most of the subjects but for some of the subject, let's just say I've done better. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for what I got because that's the fruit of my hard work (hard work? that's questionable), but 5As out of 9 subjects is just not good enough.

Nevertheless, I will try harder for my real exam, and undoubtedly, I will try my best. Whatever results I will receive, good or bad, I believe that God, Allah SWT has determined that as the best for me, insyaAllah. Nothing happens without his knowledge, He knows all, all that is seen and all that is hidden. All that's in the past and all that's in the future.

In another note, I'll be leaving for a camp in less than half an hour. It's like a "reaching for success" camp, not the type where you sleep in tents and be all tree hugging. LOL. I'll be staying in a hotel in town ( a hotel I know right and it's for free! xP ) until Tuesday.

Only two people are going from my school, going with me is Izzati, a classmate, and also the daughter of my history teacher. We're hoping to stay in the same room. About 30-40 people were chosen from different schools to participate in this camp. It's for students who got 3As in our mid-year exams. Can't wait to meet other students from other schools and make new friends. Not to forget to actually participate in the camp. LOL, I hope I can "get with the program" haha.

Well, I guess that's just it. Till next blogpost, adios. Ilalliqa' ma'a salamah :)

Monday, July 25, 2011

Grateful to have you :)

Assalamu 'alaikum :)

If you have read my previous post, you'd know that I was feeling very very very down last night. My self-confidence was at it's lowest! After going on the internet for a while to clear my mind, I switched of the computer and went into my bedroom. I didn't put any music on, it wasn't one of those times that music could help me.

I was lying on my bed. at first I was staring at the ceiling, then I started tossing and turning. No position felt comfortable. I wrapped myself in my blanket, then I pulled it off me. I did that a few times. I could go on telling you my never ending shift of positions, but who would want to read that right.

The voices in my head was the worst part. It was like all of my personalities had it's own voice, all debating inside my head. Some of them was scolding me, cursing me, while others tried to calm me down, and fight the other voices. I know this is making me sound cuckoo, but it was what it was.

A few tears started falling. I know if I just cried and fell asleep, I might wake up with the same level of self-esteem. VERY low. So I decided to text a friend. We don't text as often as we used to anymore, but we do keep in touch once in a while.

I got a reply and I was able to express how I felt. At first the tears I held back fell uncontrollably. I had to cover my face with the blanket to hide the noises from being heard by my family outside my room. We talked and talked and talked. I stopped crying, then it started to rain. I guess it was only a second delayed from a movie-like sad scene.

This person knows exactly how to make me feel better. From crying and emotionally beating myself up, I was smiling. Smiles lead to laughter. I was so happy. I over-analyze things a lot of the time, and this person knows that the only way to get my mind off things was to distract me with the most random and funny things!

You know how people say that best friends are always there for you, at your best and at your worst? Well, I still can't believe that this person would not be disgusted of me, knowing my past. What "past", you might ask. Well, that is a story to be kept buried and not to be put on the internet. We don't talk as often as me and my other friends, heck, I haven't seen this person in almost a year! but this person stood by me when I was at my worst, my weakest. Many can try, and I appreciate their effort to cheer me up, but none can do it better.

I am so grateful to have you in my life. Even if we drift apart in the future, I am grateful to have  the chance and pleasure of knowing you. May God bless you. <3 :)

Sunday, July 24, 2011


PMR Trial starts next week. I really need to strive for this.

School has been extra stressful lately. Some of my classmates won't shut up. Sigh.

Tonight I'm feeling quite down, Hmm, PMS perhaps? Sometimes I hope somebody can pick me up.. but then I remember my success depends on me, and the ONLY ONE that can help me is The Almighty Allah SWT. Astaghfirullahalaziim....

Monday, July 4, 2011


Assalamualaikum wbt.

This is just a short announcement. As you may or may not know, I'm sitting for my PMR exam this year. The trial is very soon, which is on 24th July 2011. The real exam is on 4th October 2011.

To help me focus on my exams, I will be reducing my time on the computer. I can't tell you whether I'll be updating my blog, but I am planning on doing so. I'll use the computer only on weekends.

Despite that, I hope you guys will pray for me :) Your Du'aa and wishes mean so much to me.
Thank you <3

I'll write again whenever :)

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

My experience - Public Speaking/Spell-it-right

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

So I didn't want to share this with you guys until it was all over. And now it's over, so I'm sharing it with you guys. Sorry, I'm still quite blurred. Haha.

Last Wednesday, which is 15th June 2011, I participated in a Public Speaking Competition.

If you're not familiar with the format, the competition is divided into two sections. The first section, which is the prepared speech, participants will deliver a speech with the topic of their choice, in the allocated time of 6 minutes. The second section is the impromptu speech. Participants are quarantined, and given four minutes to prepare a speech, as in just jot down ideas and stuff. The impromptu speech is just for three minutes.

This was the district level. It was held in Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Ibrahim Fikri. I was in the Northern Zone category. The Southern Zone category was held there too, but in different halls. I was feeling very jolly that morning, the total opposite of my mood the night before. Delivering the speech went quite smooth. The topic i chose was "How to Build Self-confidence". I was enjoying the moment. It would be nice if I had that mood in every competition I entered. sigh. Usually I'd be shaking so much! Even during my oral tests, I shake. It becomes worse when it's obvious. That day I managed to lock my hands, and keep the shaking unnoticeable. Sometimes it's not about being confident, it's the illusion of being confident. Appearing confident, actually helps you to feel confident. Was that confusing? whatever. Haha.

Even though it was my 1st time entering a Public Speaking Competition (not counting the one for Co-curricular day in my school last year), I managed to get 1st place. Alhamdulillah, I was chosen to represent the Northern Zone of Kuala Terengganu. The topic for the impromptu section was "A Person I Would Like to Meet". I gushed about Bill Kaulitz. People who knew me were like "I KNEW IT!" . ;P The topic for the Southern Zone was "A Place I Would Like to Be At". I didn't manage to meet the champion, but her mother was one of my adjudicators. The teachers and I returned to the school and we went straight to the Principal's office. "Sir, we won! 1st Place!" He was very delighted. I felt happy to see him that way, he was supportive ever since the start.

You know how sometimes something good happens, and it's followed by something bad? Well, the day after the competition, I fell in the bathroom. The floor was very slippery. I fell on my glutious maximus. :P Thank God there were no serious injuries! Falling on your butt is very dangerous, you know. So readers, please be careful. And don't pull a person's chair if they're about to sit down. It's not funny, and it's just stupid. Don't be stupid.

So, I was able to go to school. During the assembly, the school Principal announced about the competition and I had to stand right in the middle of everyone! Not receive a trophy on a stage or whatever, but just standing, in the middle of all the other students who are sitting. Awkward. Haha!

Saturday, 18th June 2011 - Spell-It-Right
I wasn't hoping very high for this one. I was thinking about the State Level for the Public Speaking Competition. I even decided to not enter, but people persuaded me. haiz. My brother entered too. We departed from home very early in the morning. Long story short, we both lost. He misspelled "Chaparral" and I misspelled "Labyrinthitis". It was kinda fun though.

Then today arrived, 21st June 2011. The day for the state level of the Pubic Speaking Competition.

Unlike the previous level where I didn't bring any supporters, this time the teacher bought 9 of them. They were brought so they could be exposed to these things. And in case I transfer schools next year, I'd have an understudy. Or in this case, understudies. So there were 10 of us all together. Not counting the teachers. Two teachers were involved, btw.

The State Level for this competition is held in Besut. Specifically Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Tengku Mahmud I. Our school is very far from the venue. We departed at 7.35a.m and reached there at 9.15a.m or so. Other participants have it worse, some of them even had to leave at 6.30a.m because we needed to reach there by 10.00a.m . During the journey, I talked with the teacher, non-stop. People sitting at the back were eating, non-stop. Hahaha! But the boys, only two, they just kept quiet and listen to music or whatever they were doing at the back.

Self confidence itu penting

self confidence itu penting sangat

Besides the fact that there was supposed to be five judges instead of three, everything went well. I used my original text. Although the timing was better than the district level, I was really stiff. Only my arms moved, and my body would only move if it was "pulled" by my arms =___=" My friend told me I was like a tree stump. I looked at the pictures that they took, and I did! In every single picture, I looked exactly the same except for my arms and head.Oh well, at least the intonation and facial expressions were good, so my teacher said.Would've been better if I didn't look at my notes at all. But it wasn't the time for trial and error. And now is not the time for regrets.

In the 1st quarantine room, the participants had the chance to talk. Alisha Reverie (Kemaman representative), Shern Koo (Southern Kuala Terengganu representative) and I were the loudest in the room. Hahaha, other representatives would talk if we asked them something. Except for that one boy, he was the only boy, and he just stayed by himself. 0____0 I guess he's shy.

Wanna go to the Philippines!

The topic for the impromptu part of the competition was "a place I would like to visit". I chose the Philippines. The teacher and I were hoping for this topic, so yay! LOL after it all was over, we gathered in the school's jubilee hall. The primary school's choral speaking competition was held there, and when we were finished, they were down to their last group. So we had time to loiter around. The hall was filled with people, so it was very hot. I didn't stay there for long, because sweating causes rashes. Not to mention, discomfort.

So I decided to join my friends who were sitting at a hut nearby. No, not the woody hut thingy. It was made of cement and tiles. We had a chance to talk with the students from the hosting school. The participant, Syamimi Halim, and a few of her friends who were the emcees, and school photographers. Everybody got along fine.

So I'll just skip the pointless parts. It was time they announced the winners. They announced the consolation prize winners. There were 8 contestants, each representing their district. But for Kuala Terengganu, as I said, it's divided into the Northern Zone and Southern Zone. I was very nervous. I held on tight to my teacher's hand. Four names were announced, none of them mine. Me and Alisha were communicating with each other from afar, we used facial expression, hand gestures, and a lot of lip reading. Haha. When they announced the 5th name, I was like "NOT ME! OMG! IT'S NOT MY NAME! :O" which means, I got a place.

The only ones left were Shern, Alisha and I. Then the announcer announced that Shern came in 3rd. That was when my grip to the teacher's hand tightened. Me and Alisha were using our made-up sign language skills to say "OH! YOU AND ME AH? YOU AND ME!!" we were wide-eyed and so hyper! Then the announcer did a very suspenseful affect. He said that he's going to announce the champion, so the name that was not announce should come up the stage to receive the prize for 2nd place "like in Akademi Fantasia" Hahaha.

As expected, Alisha's name was announced. She got up and went straight to the front. I turned to my teacher and asked "wait, I'm supposed to go, becasue I cam in 2nd, and she came in 1st". The announcer had to stop her, I guess she was just too excited! I mean, who wouldn't be, right? So the announcer announced my name, so I reached the point where Alisha was standing, and we congratulated each other. I was so grateful to come in 2nd. She really deserved 1st place! She was amazing! :D

Me, Shern, and Alisha

had a great time, laughed a lot, got valuable experience, gained new friends. I say today is a great day :)

Friday, June 17, 2011

always do the right thing!

Salam readers!

Let me tell you what happened to me.

I have this friend, no wait, maybe it's not precise to call that person a friend, hmm, let's go with "acquaintance". We were close, but a few things occurred between us, which really effected our friendship. Being in this bittersweet thing, which I couldn't really make heads or tails of, affected me, internally. I ended up feeling angry, upset, sad, ignored, the list goes on and on! But, I blamed myself. By doing so, I got depressed.

So I decided to do something. Something so risky, it would've changed out relationship forever. It did. Whether it would change it in a positive way, or  negative way, I didn't know. But at that moment, I genuinely thought that it was something that I had to do, regardless of the circumstances. I decided to end our broken friendship. Yes, I shattered the cracked glass. or whatever. I didn't see it as an action of surrender, it wasn't me, giving up. It had felt like that a tiny bit, but it was more of a sacrifice. I felt like I was being a burden, and even to myself, it was a burden. For a very long time, I was glad that I did it. A lot of things were falling into place for me.

Almost two months passed. Yes I know, it isn't that long. Thank God.

Then last week, something kept bothering me. I started questioning my action, the one I thought was one of the best decisions of my life, so far. I remember that I was thought that all Muslims are brothers, and we should not break our relations with them. It's a sin. I did remember this, but I thought it was excused due to the circumstances. Knowing that I am not wise enough to make a decision on my own, I decided to refer to my seniors. I wouldn't want to make two bad decisions in a row. I asked them, and they explained to me, and now, Alhamdulillah, I understand.

I felt really guilty. Not only to that person, but to God, Allah SWT. I literally cried when I was chatting to them about this. So even though it was very hard for me, I knew I had to do the right thing. I am the kind of person who can't stand guilt. Like seriously, you don't know how much it bothers me. Sometimes it brings cons to me, but most of the time, it keeps me on my feet. I wrote an apology. Not a short message, but it was like an essay. I explained my side of the story, and with a prayer, I sent it via Facebook. Yes, even though in that time span of almost two times we didn't contact each other at all, we were till friends on Facebook. I guess that was a good sign, that there was still hope, or something. I t could be revenge, but whatever.

That night, I got a reply. The reply was 1/5 the length of my sappy apology. hahaha. It went well, I was glad. Syukur, Ya Allah. We decided that it was nobody's fault, and we should let bygones be bygones.

  1.  Seek guidance from Allah SWT in times of hardship and when in doubt, because only He can give us peace and happiness, or the contrary.
  2.  Be grateful, especially to God.
  3. Don't make a drastic decision on temporary  emotions, especially if you're a teenage girl. If you know what I mean.
  4. Don't hesitate to do the right thing
  5. Don't be ashamed to seek help when you know you need it
  6. Don't deny what you truly believe deep inside, but be sure to investigate it thoroughly.
  7. Learn to manage stress
  8. Take time to understand people
  9. It's best to forgive and forget, but remember what it taught you.
  10. Listen to these advices. 
Much Love, Sofia :) 

    Sunday, May 29, 2011

    Lawn bowling.

    Assalamualaikum, peace be upon you.

    As you may or may not know, I play lawn bowls. Nothing professional, I just play with the Lawn Bowl Association in my parent’s University. Actually, I am a member. Well, not quite but it’s on its way. Haha.

    I am not going to tell you how the game works, because I’m just so darn lazy xP I suggest you refer to the internet. LOL

    I am happy because I have finally found a sport that I actually stuck with. I’ve started playing last year, but stopped then started again early this year. In the evenings, I’d go the the ‘green’ at the university. Usually we’d play from 5-7pm.
    I get along with the other members. I don’t feel like the awkward youngest member hahaha. They’re cool, they’re awesome! It helps me a lot since my brother’s in his hostel and I am left alone at home  I rely a lot on the internet for socialization. So this is really a good thing. I get to socialize healthily, and get some exercise.

    Of course, I can’t join in tournaments as often as they can because I’m not a staff, but there’s still open tournaments like the City Night Games that is held every month. Speaking of the City Night Games, it was last Friday. My team got 4th place :D so that’s a boost for my co-curriculum marks for school. I hope I can join again. Tournaments usually last the whole day, with breaks for lunch and dinner. It can even last till midnight or even later. I get to see tournaments, and I even got the chance to see a few national players play recently. Wow, just wow.

    Playing in the evening is freaking hot. It’s even hotter in the afternoon. Like seriously, but the game needs your full attention, so you don’t really realize the heat until after the game. You just need preparation. Mentally, and you know, materially. A cap, sunglasses, suitable clothing, sun block, anything you need. I bought sun block, and all I can say is that it smells like chlorine. Like pool water chlorine. I did get a little darker, but so far it’s unnoticeable. But who cares? If people are gonna judge me by the fairness of my skin, then it’s not up to me to please them.

    This game has taught me a lot of things, whether it be directly or indirectly. You know what they say, the most important lessons are the ones taught outside the classroom. Besides, without this, I’d probably be sleeping and rotting in front of the computer all day. :P

    So guys, you should try out new stuff. You never know it may turn out to be something you’re passionate about ;)