Let me tell you what happened to me.
I have this friend, no wait, maybe it's not precise to call that person a friend, hmm, let's go with "acquaintance". We were close, but a few things occurred between us, which really effected our friendship. Being in this bittersweet thing, which I couldn't really make heads or tails of, affected me, internally. I ended up feeling angry, upset, sad, ignored, the list goes on and on! But, I blamed myself. By doing so, I got depressed.
So I decided to do something. Something so risky, it would've changed out relationship forever. It did. Whether it would change it in a positive way, or negative way, I didn't know. But at that moment, I genuinely thought that it was something that I had to do, regardless of the circumstances. I decided to end our broken friendship. Yes, I shattered the cracked glass. or whatever. I didn't see it as an action of surrender, it wasn't me, giving up. It had felt like that a tiny bit, but it was more of a sacrifice. I felt like I was being a burden, and even to myself, it was a burden. For a very long time, I was glad that I did it. A lot of things were falling into place for me.
Almost two months passed. Yes I know, it isn't that long. Thank God.
Then last week, something kept bothering me. I started questioning my action, the one I thought was one of the best decisions of my life, so far. I remember that I was thought that all Muslims are brothers, and we should not break our relations with them. It's a sin. I did remember this, but I thought it was excused due to the circumstances. Knowing that I am not wise enough to make a decision on my own, I decided to refer to my seniors. I wouldn't want to make two bad decisions in a row. I asked them, and they explained to me, and now, Alhamdulillah, I understand.
I felt really guilty. Not only to that person, but to God, Allah SWT. I literally cried when I was chatting to them about this. So even though it was very hard for me, I knew I had to do the right thing. I am the kind of person who can't stand guilt. Like seriously, you don't know how much it bothers me. Sometimes it brings cons to me, but most of the time, it keeps me on my feet. I wrote an apology. Not a short message, but it was like an essay. I explained my side of the story, and with a prayer, I sent it via Facebook. Yes, even though in that time span of almost two times we didn't contact each other at all, we were till friends on Facebook. I guess that was a good sign, that there was still hope, or something. I t could be revenge, but whatever.
That night, I got a reply. The reply was 1/5 the length of my sappy apology. hahaha. It went well, I was glad. Syukur, Ya Allah. We decided that it was nobody's fault, and we should let bygones be bygones.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
- Seek guidance from Allah SWT in times of hardship and when in doubt, because only He can give us peace and happiness, or the contrary.
- Be grateful, especially to God.
- Don't make a drastic decision on temporary emotions, especially if you're a teenage girl. If you know what I mean.
- Don't hesitate to do the right thing
- Don't be ashamed to seek help when you know you need it
- Don't deny what you truly believe deep inside, but be sure to investigate it thoroughly.
- Learn to manage stress
- Take time to understand people
- It's best to forgive and forget, but remember what it taught you.
- Listen to these advices.