Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Result day is coming!

Assalamualaikum w.t.b, peace be upon you :)

I hope you're happy and healthy, whoever you are :P

Actually today, I would like to talk (or type, if you're the specific kind) about PMR results. No, I haven't received it. It's going to be announced this Thursday. Today is Tuesday, by the way. Which means, it's the day after tomorrow! :O ! Tomorrow's tomorrow!

to-morrow, to-morrow,
creeps in this petty pace from day to day..

well, you know the rest. lol

For those who are not from Malaysia, and not familiar with the term PMR, let me tell you. PMR stands for Penilainan Menengah Rendah, which basically means Lower Secondary Valuation or something like that. It is a public exam which form 3 students need to sit for. Form 3 students, are 15 years old, by the way. It is mainly important mainly because our results determine which stream we are eligible to take when we step into Upper Secondary.

I took the exam back in October, along with schoolmates and other Form 3 students nation-wide. I took 9 subjects, and I'm hoping to get straight A's. Of course, when you do something, and you put in a lot of effort and sacrifice for it, you'd want the best results. Who wouldn't, right?

With just 2 days before the big result day, I see a lot of PMR ex-candidates freaking out. Last night on Twitter, "This Thursday" "A's" and "PMR" all made to Malaysia's Trending Topics list. It was fun reading the tweets, hahaha. Some people were like "OMG OMG OMG", seniors who already took and received their results were saying stuff like "Take a chill pill" and "good luck!" among other motivational phrases, and juniors were like "It's gonna be me next year", "is it hard?", "I'm going to start studying really early!"  and other stuff.

With results day coming up soon, it's nothing but normal for ex-candidates to be nervous. Me? right now I'm feeling rather mutual. I'm not really nervous, nor am I confident. I just want to go to school, and receive what I will receive. Then, we'll see. I may be saying this today, but just wait until this Thursday. Maybe I would be really quiet, or I can't stop talking, which always happen when I'm nervous. I get really hyper. Well, who knows.

Although I am praying for straight A's , I am well aware of the fact that I may not get it. I mean, I have tried my best, I really did, but sometimes I can't help but wonder, was my best, enough? Truthfully, it doesn't cross my mind that often. I really think I've given my best. I was never the "extremist" type of student. I have my own flow, my own paste that works for me.

Let's just say that if I didn't get straight A's, I'm not going to beat my self up about it. What's the point? I can't change it. It's done. What has to be done, is done. It was finished when I turned in my last paper. I have done my part. done done done done just because I'm over-using it already hahaha  All that's left to do is pray because at the end of the day, it is Allah that settles all. I believe that whatever happens, there is a reason Allah has made it so. It's for the best, regardless of whether we know it of not. HE is the higher power. HE knows all.

In case I don't get straight A's, my reaction would depend on which subject(s) that I didn't score an A in. I know my weak subjects, I know my strong subjects, and I know my moderate subjects. If I didn't get an A in my weak subjects (Geography and History), it would be less depressing than not scoring in other subjects. I'm not saying that these subjects are less important, I'm saying that it's harder for me to score in these subjects in comparison to other subjects.

I'm planning to take the pure science stream next year. I wonder how studying Biology and Physics will be like. I wonder how being a Form 4 student will be like. I just know that on the first week of school, everything will probably be blurry. Hahaha, happens every new school year. I'll need to re-adapt to being a school student. LOL. Form 4 huh, Upper Secondary. It's like going up a level in a game. People call it the "honeymoon year". Really? I think it's nonsense. Well, whatever. Different people will define it differently.

Also, I have filled a form for residential school. The plan is to get into Sekolah Sains Sultan Mahmud (SESMA), which is my brother's ex-school. He enrolled there after his PMR too. I have friends there, too.A few from primary school, and others from drama class.The school is literally 10 minutes from my house. Maybe less. It's a fully residential school, and you know, fully residential school has it's perks and all. I'm up to try for anything. I may get accepted into the school like how my family is convinced of, and I may not get accepted to that school. There's also a possibility I'd get accepted to other residential school. Who knows, we'll just have to wait and see. Even if I get in, the earliest would be February.

When in situations like this, I say, Que Sera Sera. :)

On another note, I'm going to Johor Bahru because my cousin is getting hitched! Yeah! I've been home ever since the holiday started. On the computer, all day everyday. We're going to drive day right after I get my results. Hooray for family roadtrips!

Dear reader, please pray for me :) Only Allah can repay your deeds, InsyaAllah. Jazaakallah khair :)

So I guess that's it. Until next post, adios muchachos and muchachas.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Realistic dream.

Last night
At about half past two
I couldn’t sleep
I was thinking of you

I switched off the lights
And my mind wandered free
I thought about you
And I thought about me

In the silent darkness
I found serenity
I closed my eyes
And escaped reality

You were in front of me
I knew it wasn’t real
But the heavy heartache
I could no longer feel

In that moment
all the pain faded away
In that moment
I'd like to stay

My memories were no more
than leaves in autumn
like the wilted flowers
that used to blossom

I could feel your presence
But somehow I knew
It wasn’t happening
Even if I wanted it to

Suddenly you turned around
And ran away from me
In that second my dream
Was the same as reality

You’re not in my life any more
And there’s nothing I can do
Except keep moving on
And stop remembering you.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Jangan nak forward sangat.

Assalamualaikum semua yang boleh tersampai ke blog ni.

Harini aku nak tulis pasal mesej. Ya, mesej. Text. Pesanan ringkas. SMS. Sama je padahal. Saja nak tulis banyak-banyak. Aku bukan nak tulis pasal mesej "Salam, wt pe tuh?" ataupun yang lebih kurang dengan tu, tapi aku nak cakap pasal mesej yang forward-forward ni. Korang pernah kena tak? Kebanyakan korang mesti pernah kena punyalah.

Sekarang ni aku tengah tunggu result PMR kan, ada la dapat beberapa mesej yang macam ni. Aku jarang mesej, sebab tu, bila tengok "1 new message" tu, agak excited lah. Tengok-tengok mesej forward. Ah alaah. Spoil betul la. =_____=

Kalau nak forward doa ke, pesanan ke, nasihat ke, aku tak kisah. Bagus la. Tapi yang menjengkelkan tu bila baca kat hujung-hujung. Contoh:

"Forwardkan ke rakan-rakan yang sedang menunggu result. 1 orang = 1 A"

"Kalau forward dalam sepuluh hari dapat rezeki besar, kalau tak dapat bala" 

Ni yang aku tak suka ni.

First of all, sejak bila pulak meng-foward-kan message tu boleh tolong aku dapat result gempak? Asal tak bagitau awal-awal? Takdela aku sibuk nak ke kelas tambahan,buat homework, buat revision. Ye la, kalau dah 1 orang, dapat dah 1 A. Foward ke 9 orang, dah straight A's dalam genggaman. Selama ni, dari aku sekolah rendah zaman UPSR lagi, takda sekali pun penceramah / motivator / cikgu cakap kalau nak berjaya dalam exam, kena forward mesej. Aku belek buku "cara-cara menjadi pelajar cemerlang" pun takde pulak tulis kat situ. Malah, haritu pun masa belek soalan PMR, bahagian arahan tu, takde tulis jugak. Jadi aku nak tanya kat orang yang asal tulis mesej ni. Mana kau dapat benda ni. Mesti mesej ni ada asal-usul dia. Sapa yang tulis ni aku nak tengok sikit result dia. Kalau bukan straight A's dari mula persekolahan hingga akhir persekolahan, memang nak kena la. Tips kejayaan apa benda la macam ni.

Weh, ni aku nak bagitau. Result peperiksaan kau, ada kait ke dengan forward? hah? Jabatan Pelajaran ada nak check kau punya telefon tengok kau forward ke tak? Takda kan? Aku rasa takda. Kalau ada tak tahu la tu. -__-

Nak berjaya dalam peperiksaan, kita cuba yang terbaik. Buat sekadar termampu. Buat homework, pergi kelas tambahan, jaga hati ibu bapa, guru-guru, rakan-rakan. Biar berkat. Lepas kita dah cuba yang terbaik, kita pun teruskan berdoa. Ikhtiar, lepas tu tawakkal. Apa-apa yang berlaku dalam hidup kita, semua atas Allah SWT. Kita sebagai manusia hanya mampu merancang. Lepas tu, kalau result kita bukan seperti yang kita harapkan, kita harus menerima, kan? secangkir madu sepahit hempedu. Eh, apa kait madu dengan hempedu ni. Tetiba je. Lagipun, apa-apa yang terjadi, semua ada hikmah dia. Allah lebih mengetahui. Trust in Allah.

Contohnya, orang yang dah ditakdirkan mendapat straight A's ni, dia dah berusaha habis-habisan dengan doa segala, dia dapat mesej forward ni. Katakanlah, dia tak forward. Jadi dia tak dapat A langsung lah dalam exam?

1 lagi. Kita ambik pelajar yang memang tak ada keinginan nak study langsung. Boleh kata keinginan nak study tu -100%. Tetapi, semalas-malas pelajar ni, dia nak straight A's jugak. Dia dapat mesej ni. Dia ambik 8 subjek. Contoh. Dia forward mesej ni. Bukan setakat 8 orang, 80 orang dia forward kan. Ye lah, orang kredit melimpah kan, nak buat macam mana. Sebab dia forward mesej ni, dia akan dapat A lah?

Kalau situasi seperti di atas berlaku baru aku nak forward.
Mari kita fikir sejenak menggunakan logik akal.

Yang kait dengan rezeki dan bala tu lagi melampau. Cuba bagi source benda ni. Yang sahih la, yang tak sahih buat apa. Nak cerita soal rezeki dengan bala ni, aku bukannya pandai sangat kan. Yang aku tahu, semua tu, atas Allah belaka. Wallahualam.

Mungkin orang yang asal tulis mesej ni. Kira macam pokok pangkal dia la. Mungkin niat dia baik, tetapi ni bukan cara dia lah. Kalau tulis "forwardkan kepada rakan-rakan supaya berita ini tersebar" ke lebih kurang macam tu, boleh tahan. Tapi ni siap ada ganjaran / dendaan lagi apa cerita. Aku ni keras kepala, jadi kadang-kadang bila baca awal-awal tu boleh tahan lagi, ada dah rasa nak forward, lepas tu terbaca lah yang dekat hujung tu. Terus *tettttt* dah taknak forward.

Macam mana kalau aku dah niat nak penampar orang esok. Contohnya kita bagi nama Si A lah. Aku memnag dah tetap dalam hati ni nak tampar dia sekuat hati tanpa sebab yang munasabah. Lepas tu aku start lah satu chain message macam ni. "Esok kamu akan ditampar sampai pipi kau merah menyala kalah orang letak blusher 2 bekas kalau kamu tak forwardkan mesej ni kepada 3 orang". Aku hantar kat dia, lepas tu dia forward. Selamat tak dia?  Macam tak selamat je. Orang dah tetap dalam hati na tampar kau kena pandai-pandai la pujuk ke lari ke, setakat forward mesej, jangan nak selamat sangat.

Cukup lah aku membebel pasal benda ni. Moral of the story is, kalau korang ada nombor telefon aku, jangan la forward benda ni dekat aku. Lagi satu, sebelum kau percaya buta-buta benda ni, fikir dulu. Atas korang la nak forward ke tak kan, hak korang. Tetapi aku mintak tolong *melutut merayu ni* please please please kamu jangan nakal  JANGAN forward dekat aku. Serious membazir kredit kau je sebab aku pun bukannya nak forward.


Sunday, December 4, 2011

You walked away.

You walked away,
without saying goodbye,
I guess I wasn't worth it,
I was left to cry.

Time has passed,
and tears have dried,
but the heartache I feel,
needs more time to heal.

Until then I'll live,
the best I can,
I'll wait for the day,
You'll walk my way.

Since it was so easy,
for you to walk away,
It can't be that hard,
to walk back my way.


We're in the forest,
birds were chirping,
trees as green as ever,
and rays from the sun,
made the river shimmer,
t'was a flawless summer.

We're in the river,
you and me,
just you and me,
nothing but calm water in between,
you held my hand,
and gave me strength,
I closed my eyes,
immersing myself in the moment.

suddenly the currents got violent,
the sky turned dark,
thunder roared fiercely,
and the trees were burning,
but I still had you,
so I thought.

I stared into your eyes,
trusted you, believed,
I held onto you tighter,
to trust was a mistake.

water rose to my chin,
my hands were empty then,
you were far, and going further,
I kept trying to reach you,
as I slowly drown I realise,
you didn't drift away,
you let me go.

You left me to drown.