Thursday, December 19, 2013

Rant post

Assalamualaikum w.b.t
whaddup geng? 

So in this post I am going to do one of the things that I do best, which is ranting. 

So today's the day when Form 3 students get their results. First of all I would like to congratulate all of you, regardless of your results. What matters is that you've tried your best. Celebrate, have fun. You still have time off before school starts again. Remember, the journey is far from over. 

For those who got straight As, keep up the good work and maintain your excellence until SPM. Don't get cocky. Upper secondary is very different from lower secondary. 

For those who are not satisfied with your results, try harder for SPM. There's no use crying over spilt milk. Instead, take it as a lesson. Don't give up, because real failure is when you give up. Results aren't everything. Many people have been successful without an all As result, because they found what they're good at, and they worked hard. Everybody has their strengths and weaknesses :) 

Here I would also like to share a video. 
It's very inspiring and mind-opening, and definitely worth watching. I would definitely suggest watching this video if you have the time. If you don't, make time. It's Sir Ken Robinson's speech "Do schools kill creativity" from a TED Talks session.

What I really want to rant talk (or rather, type) about is cheating. 

You know what pisses me off? 
When people get all cocky about excellent results. There's absolutely no wrong in being grateful and happy about good results. By all means, enjoy it. All praise to Allah, the Most Gracious. But when people get cocky, please, shut your pie hole. 

You know what's worse?
When people get cocky about excellent results that were obtained through cheating.Then they get all the recognition and glamour and whatever perquisites (hooray for using a fancy word for "perks") excellent students are worthy of.

"Intelligent", "smart", "Hope of the country, religion and nation" . Oh shut up. 

Is there a school where there is not one student who cheats? who knows, it's possible, but it's highly unlikely. Cheating exists in many forms, and can be done in many ways, due to the creativity of the students. Heh, at least we're good at something. 

Is the education system too exam-oriented? Well, in my opinion, exams are needed to know one's capability, but society's(including educational institutions')  "EXAMS ARE EVERYTHING" culture is pretty ridiculous. How to change the judgmental mind? I don't know. Don't waste your time, remember that it is your education, your fight, your future. Do what is best for you. At the end of the day, you need to help yourself in this world. 

If you need to cheat to be excellent, then you're not excellent at all. It is not you who is smart, but the person you cheated off. Stop lying to yourself, you can only depend on people for so long. What about college? What about life? Will there always be somebody to save your butt? Newsflash! There won't. 

What about leaked exam questions? Well, that can only happen when there's an irresponsible adult, right?Students (some, not all) crave leaked questions more than the starving crave for food. It's like getting the key to a treasure chest, when you're broke. I'm exaggerating, perhaps, but you know what I mean.

The question is; are the students to blame?

There are a lot factors which leads to students cheating, but it's all for one cause; to get great results. Some of the factors include high expectations, low self-confidence, desperation, peers, etc... 

In my opinion, you can't really put 100% of the blame on the students. Why? because many of us are told to get Straight As, nothing less or else we're considered as a failure. As if if we don't get it we have wasted 11 years (or more) of education. 

The things adults say sometimes... Parents (not mine alhamdulillah), teachers, anyone... 

Do you know how it messes with our head? making us feel useless, and worthless. 
When you compare us, it depends on what you say and the way you say it. 
Seldom it comes out as constructive criticism, most of the time it's just cold-hard judgement, telling us we're not good enough. 

Instead of telling us we're not doing good enough, tell us we can do better. Turn it into a positive note. It makes a big difference. Frankly, when the students develop a negative outlook upon themselves, the bad results aren't going anywhere. 

And of course, if the students already know that questions are leaked, they're torn between two choices:

1.Take it. 
Then they can "study" it and presumably get great results.

2.Don't take it.
Study normally while all the other students who took it will probably get great results. 

This is where integrity comes in. Self-confidence helps too.  This situation is similar to in movies where a character discusses the option with an angel and a devil. I hope those who ever meet this situation are able to make the right decision. 

Cheating has become so common, it isn't considered as a big deal anymore. It has become more of a choice. If you cheat, please don't bother those who choose not to. If you choose to cheat it's completely up to you, but don't force other students who choose not to cheat to give you their answers. That's just selfish and disrespectful. Some people actually have values they hold on to. Like s e r i o u s l y. 

Of course, in my humble opinion, I think not cheating, is an achievement itself. :)b

Again, congratulations to everybody, especially those who didn't cheat. 
For those who did, I hope you stop and develop more self-confidence before your next exam.

SPM-leavers, keep praying. 

Let's all try our best and refrain from cheating. ok?
Integrity has become a dying value. If it was an animal it would be endangered. 

Disclaimer: This entire post was written generally and not specifically referring to any students / institutions. If you cheat and you found this post provocative or whatever, sorry not sorry.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Foreign Land

You were a foreign land
the more I wander, the more I get lost
the deeper I travel, the more it captures me
I wanted to know every corner of you
and I explored each one by heart
from your brightest horizons
to your darkest caves
and though you scared me multiple times
it could never overcome my love for you
you showed me your demons
and I showed you my ghosts
you took me through your dreams
and we strolled through mine
I could never defeat the demons for you
but I didn't have the heart to let you face them alone
I was never genuinely afraid of you
but I knew you were terrified of yourself
I wanted to ease your pain
you were there for me at my weakest point

I loved every piece of you

but tonight,
I will not long for the stars that are absent
I will not mourn for what was lost
but I will be grateful for what I had.

6th December 2013
for M.N.

Brief But Beautiful

Maybe the brief moment we had
is all that we will ever have
and I should be grateful
to have met and spend time
with somebody so endearing

But still my heart silently prays
for God to cross our paths again
perhaps for a longer period
perhaps until we decide
to never ever part again

Absence makes the heart grow fonder
but what if only one feels it
what if this love is unrequited
and I'm heading towards disappointment
but what if it's not

I hope I cross your mind always
sometimes, at least once in a while
because you do too occasionally
and the memory of our moments
keeps replaying in my head

I cherish the moment we had
wishing it will happen again
but until it does, if it will
I will look at the pictures
of our brief but beautiful time together

I hope you keep me in your prayers
just like how I keep you in mine
this distance can never stop me
from sending you prayers from afar
blessing for your future endeavors

4th June 2013.
for M.A.Y
for the 3 days I got to know you.

Deathwishes (You Don't Know)

Bear in mind that I was in a very dark place.

You don't know
the occasional deathwishes
that come to my mind
like how I think that
perhaps it's better
if I was never born

You don't know
how much I hate myself
more than anyone ever can
like living battles with people
and a war within myself
slowly, painfully, losing

You don't know
every time I scream
I wish I was mute
every time they scream
I wish I was deaf
Please, no more screaming

You don't know
how I judge myself
more harsh and brutal
than all the knives
the people I trusted
stabbed on my back

You don't know
how the evil voices
overpower my own
but closing my ears
cannot stop them
from hurting me

You don't know
that whenever I swim
I wonder what if
I drown at sea
then I question
the value of my existence

You don't know
you will never know
about the deathwishes
that haunt me

11th May 2013.

Astaghfirullah hal aziim.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Thailand Trip

Assalamualikum w.b.t

My last exam paper ended at 3.30 p.m., 27th November 2013.

The next day, at that time, I was already on my way to Thailand. Daddy was attending the International Fisheries Symposium and I was tagging along lol

We arrived at Suvarnabhumi Airport, Bangkok and took a van (provided by IFS organizers) to Pattaya.
 The trip took almost 3 hours, but because I was so fatigued by school and the trip itself, I fell asleep and when I woke up, we were already in Pattaya. Like magic! lol It was already night time when we arrived, so the first night was just for rest.

We stayed in Ambassador City Jomtien Hotel, which was a very nice hotel. It was filled with Russian tourists, though. Being there, didn't even feel like we were in Thailand. We got a room facing the beach, meaning it has a magnificent view.

The beach that I never dared to go to because everyone was wearing bikinis and it would be awkward not to mention hard on my self esteem

moments before sunset.
The following night, we went to town, and boy, was it a night to remember. An annual international fireworks festival was taking place, and I was really excited to go. We stopped at a muslim restaurant for dinner. Here, you don't really find halal food so much, so when you find it, don't expect it to be cheap. Except for the kebab shops and road hawkers who sell banana pancakes. 

Got to experience riding this. Sorry, I don't know what it's called. Looks harmless, but imagine going >100km/h. Yeah, it was exhilarating, and somewhat frightening. Definitely kept the adrenaline pumping.

After eating, we walked for about 30 minutes, I think. Managed to capture a few photos.

Finally, we reached our destination.
Fur tour guide for the night, was told of a popular tourist spot, and he took us there. It was near the place where the firework festival was going supposed to be. Little did he know, it was a different kind of tourist spot. A different kind of tourism, for different kind of tourists, definitely not us.


I'd love to share details, but I'm under aged. Hahaha that's true but it's just inappropriate. Let's just say, it was kinda like Vegas, not that I have ever been there.

In the end, we didn't get to go to the fireworks festival :( but we did see a few fireworks as we were just about to head back to the hotel. So, it wasn't a complete failure.

The next day, we headed to Bangkok where we spent 2 nights. Bangkok, was for fun and touristy (is that even a word, i don't care, let's just pretend it is) stuff. Bangkok is huuuuuuuuuge!

In Bangkok, we went to Chatuchak market, which is the weekend market. Chatuchak market was really fun! They've got a lot of cool stuff there, with reasonable prices, too! 



Dream catchers. 
My kinda thangg.

Monk sculptures for sale.

Murtabak pisang. Delish!

this is the main road outside Chatuchak Park.

It was very tiring, but so worth it.
The day after that, we went to a few places. First, we went to Nana Street (Arabic street) but half of the shops were closed because it was still early, and it was the weekend. :( So we took the train and headed for MBK, a mall where my dad has been to earlier this year. It was packed, more than MRTs. We stopped at Siam Station, but the Siam Center was closed because a rally was coming. Luckily the rally didn't affect my trip. So we continued to MBK for lunch. Then we went back to the hotel.

This guy. His grandparents live (or lived) in Tupat, Kelantan. And he spoke Kelantanese (kecek kelate le sene nok roaknye) when taking our orders. lol

the taxi driver said Buddhists believe this brings good luck.

We went home on the 3rd of December. I lost a book at Suvarnabhumi Airport. Cried like a little girl, yep. It was new and I had read half of it! Do you know how frustrating that is?!?!?! Especially if you have been dying to read something other than notes and textbooks? urgh. I probably left it on a trolley, but getting it back was impossible since we already passed the immigration check and all that stuff . Luckily there was a bookstore and I was able to purchase the exact same book. So if you're ever at Suvarnabhumi Airport and feel like reading Nicholas Sparks' The Longest Ride, go to the Lost and Found counter. If it's there, you can have it. Haha.

Till another time, goodbye readers!

Saturday, December 7, 2013

School's out!

Assalamualaikum warahmtullahi wa barakatuh! :D

How you doinnnn? ;)
(If you watched f.r.i.e.n.d.s you probably read that in Joey's voice, which is exactly the way I intended for it to be read lol)

As you can see in the strategically placed title above, school is over! Well, at least it is for me and my batch mates (assuming that we don't enter Form 6 - if that's the case then school is paused).

Friends, school wasn't just a place for us to get formal education. It was the place where friendships were formed, life lessons were learned, and personality was shaped. School might be harder to some than it was to others, but ups and downs are just a part of life because life is not a bed of roses (but then again roses have thorns so life kinda is like a bed of roses, isn't it? whatever Soph, don't question the simile).

Graduation Day.

Personally, for me, I think the years of schooling were spent well. I gained a lot of friends, and got to experience new things, and learned a lot too. There were times that I wanted to give up, but family, friends and teachers kept motivating me, and I am grateful for them all. Especially the ones who were there when I needed them the most. I am also grateful for the "haters" (this word is so mainstream, I apologize for being cliche), because without you guys, I could never be as strong as I am now.

5 Ungku Aziz 2013

Honestly, it was absolute torture. Both mentally and physically.
All I can say is, the result I will get is the product of my own efforts, and good or bad, I will accept it (because I don't really have a choice, do I?)
Exams are important, but keep in mind that there are more things more important, like integrity. (do you catch my drift?)
I tried my best, and I pray for the best.

Future plans?
I am looking into law, insya Allah.

to other SPM leavers,
I pray that you pass your SPM with flying colours, and that you will continue your studies in a field that is the best for you and to your liking. Until then, enjoy yourself. You definitely deserve it.

Batch 36, Avant Garde. It is an honor to be a part of it <3

Friday, October 18, 2013

Passing by.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

Sorry for not posting for so long. I've been busy with school and other activities.

SPM is just around the corner, so I'd really appreciate if you'd spend some time to recite a little prayer for me. Jazaakallah khair <3

I'll be back after the exam finishes, insyaAllah.

Until then, may Allah bless you. :)


Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Fun & Friends @ FRSIS 2013

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

What's up, everyone? I hope you guys are well :)

So I just got home last night from Cyberjaya, Kuala Lumpur. I was at Sekolah Seri Puteri to attend Fully Residential School's International Symposium (FRSIS) 2013, and it was awesome!

It all started last Wednesday. We reached SSP late in the evening and went into the dorm we would be staying in for 4 nights. Well, except for Syazwan of course who was staying at Sekolah Alam Shah. My team consisted of Huda, Farhana, Syazwan and me.

We got to get to know the people in our dorm that night, and we instantly clicked! Vicky, the loudest among us was already telling us her life story on the first night and we went everywhere together. The delegates from other schools found it weird that we were that close. I was so happy to get such awesome dorm mates! You guys rock! Of course, Bluebell 1 Bay 2 was the loudest dorm throughout the whole symposium. We even got shh-ed by the dorm next door. Sorry we annoyed you with our awesome-ness :P

That night, the program was kicked off with an ice-breaking session.

The session was lead by the alumni of SSP, a group of very enthusiastic women, I'd say. Every participant got up to sing one of Michael Jackson's masterpieces, The Earth Song. That got the participants pumping. Before I continue, I guess I should say that the theme for this symposium was "Go Green: Initiatives for The Future"

Then we were divided into groups and had to come up with a cheer/chant using the word 'destruction'. I was in team Tree/Forest by the way. The card we were given was a picture of one tree, who would've known it meant Team Forest?! who cares, we did a good job, team. I wish we had more time to prepare, though. 

On the next day we had our site visits, which in my opinion was the best part of FRSIS 2013. 
The teams under the sub-theme of "Go Green: Initiatives in Information and Communication Technology (ICT)" went to Forest Research Institute Malaysia's Forest Reserve. We left at about 6.40am and came back at around 6.00pm. We were the first to leave and the last to come back. I'm pretty sure we had the most fun, too. 

The bus ride from SSP to FRIM took an hour (more or less), then we had a briefing, served with breakfast, and only then the real fun started. We were divided into 4 groups, and each group had facilitators consisting of university students who were posted there, kinda like for industrial training or something.

Facilitators for group 2

Here we learned how to calculate the diamater, height and crown diameter of trees. This is when I got the nickname "Cengal", given to me by the C.E.O of Cube Global, Azman Ali M. Habib Rahman. Why "cengal"? Because I'm expensive, that's why. Hahahaha! No lah, it's because I'm "rendang" (no, not the food, the other one) or in other words, short. Heh. I like the nickname, though. :D

measuring the diameter 

using a slingshot to get a leaf sample

En. Azman showing me how to use the gadget to measure the tree's height.

measuring the crown diameter

it smells like kemenyan if burnt. i don't remember what it's called. it's the yellow liquid that  comes out of the tree.
people used to use it to wax boats.

TruPulse 360. Price: >RM9000

Then we stopped for lunch and Zhuhur prayers. After that we proceeded to another place to plant trees. We had to hike (on a trail) for 2.2KM, but I took a jeep half way :P it's rude to decline okay. lol. For your information, we didn't plant trees on some flat ground, we planted trees on the slope, yeah, because that's the hardcore way to do it. Hahahaha!

Oooohh,, trees!!

slopey slope.

Fariz, Afiq , and Taufik 

During the descend, it started to rain! It was quite challenging. We kept talking about rolling downhill -____- Thank God none of us actually did it, though.

Vicky dug this hole.

Stripping the plant :P

The hard part was getting back up. The soil was so slippery because of the rain! We had to hold on for dear life! Good thing everybody was safe, and there were no injuries. :D

shotgun seat wheeee
The tough part was over. We had tea near a beautiful lake. It was still drizzling, but that didn't stop us from having a picnic beside the lake. What's a couple of raindrops in fried noodles right?

Huda and I

This is very pretty.

I'm modeling the new plastic collection


That night we had briefings and group discussion. nothing interesting.

Then on Friday we had a forum, and The Greenest Man On Earth, Matthias Gelber came. He was really inspiring and motivational. We were really amazed by his eco-friendly lifestyle. You go, Mr Matthias!

Green man

My team with the Iranian delegates

Then that night we had the official dinner at PICC. The Prime Minister was supposed to come, but he didn't. He's a very busy man, I guess. Regardless, we still had fun! Too bad my camera ran out of battery that night :( I'm still waiting for pictures by my friends.

Saturday morning we had the parallel sessions, which means, presentations! I regret not being 100% prepared. I feel like because of me, my school only got bronze. I'm sorry SESMA, I'm sorry Bonda :(

After lunch we gathered once again in the hall to see the best team from each sub-themes present again. Things got heated a bit then, but what happened in the hall stays in the hall ;) 

They had a Putrajaya tour that evening, but it was optional, and my friends and I didn't go. We figured we'd had more fun being crazy in our dorm, and we sure did. We did the most random stuff! Talking, laughing, suddenly breaking into song, etc. Hahaha! Again, you girls were great company!

That night was the Cultural Night dinner, coincidentally Earth Hour. I had mixed feelings about the whole Earth Hour thing, because it wasn't 100% fulfilled, but hey, how do you expect to make a big dinner with no electricity, right? at least it wasn't completely ignored. 
Karl and I

Me (Cengal), Huda (Jah) and Farhana
Rave party much?

Dabce performance by the graceful dancers of SSP

Performance from SQL zone

Flash mob to Malaysia Truly Asia

He's slightly squating and I'm on my toes. Hahaha!
That's our signature pose! XD
Tallstuff & shortstuff :D

the guys

Then came Sunday, the last day of the program.

Tun Jeanne Abdullah came to speak, and Tun Abdullah (Pak Lah) also came. It was nice listening to Tun Jeanne, she has a very motherly voice! <3

"It's only the power of love, not love of power that can bring peace to this world."

Saying goodbye to the new friends I made was really hard. :'( 

drama queens

sorry, it's shaky. Special effects lol

Syakir and Taufik

That's Fariz :D

Syamael and Syazwan

I hope to see you again

and of course, the crazy ladies of Bluebell 1 Bay 2 
Girls, stay awesome!

 Well, that's the end of it. Thank you SSP, thank you everybody who has made FRSIS 2013 a success.

Friends, I wish you all the best in life. You made the program a gazillion times more fun! Always remember the k.o.p.i janda gang! RAWRRR!

With love, Sofia. ♥