Wednesday, December 31, 2014

End of the year thoughts.

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh :)

It is the final day of 2014. To be honest. I didn't even realise the time passing this year. For the most part, this year has been a big blurr. Months were spent just lazing around at home. Heh.

2014 had had its ups and downs. Generally, it has been a tough year for Malaysia. Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'uun. Hopefully, all the disasters and calamities have taught us about how fragile life is, and how we should not take our love ones for granted.

On a smaller scope, this year has been another year of growing and learning for me (duh isn't that every year). Alhamdulillah, Allah SWT still grants me life until this day. This year, I got my driving liscense. This year, I entered (pre-) university. This year, I turned 18.

Not being in school anymore and entering university has somewhat taught me to be more mature. Alhamdulillah I was able to get into the foundation program that I wanted. Getting into foundation of law really felt like I was starting to take charge of my life. I needed to stop being childish and immature, because I'm basically entering the "transition" phase into adulthood. This is the starting point to a career path that I have chosen. A step closer to achieving aspirations, insyaAllah.

This year, I have also learned to be more independent, in terms of not being so clingy. People come and people go. People enter our lives, and we should consider them as guests, not prisoners. I mean, some people will leave, and we can't do anything about it. We can't demand people to stay in our lives, no matter how much we want to, no matter how many times they said they will stay.

A lot of the times, there are people who are there for us, who never left our side, but we are too blind to see. Our family, our friends. Don't take them for granted, cherish them. In search of loyal companions, we should also put in effort to become good ones, ourselves. Don't just search for good friends, be one.

There will be times when you need to help yourself. Even if everybody else in the world is trying to help you, not much can be done if you refuse to help yourself. You'd be surprised at the things you can achieve by yourself too. Other people may not always be there for you, but you should always be there for yourself. Needless to say, we should always ultimately depend on God Almighty, not His creatures. We are never alone.

"Do not grieve, Allah is with us" (At-Tawbah 9:40)

"and We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein." (Qaf 50:16)

I feel that if we are able to be in control of ourselves, insyaAllah we will be fine. What I mean by this 'self-control' is being able stand firm with our values, and not be easily influenced and gullible. Other than that, it also means to make smart decisions for ourselves. Doing things (maybe even making life decisions) because we want to, not because it's a "trend", or because that's what people told you to do. However, It does not mean that we should do whatever the hell we want, and shut out what other people have to say about it. People with more wisdom and experience can give you great advice, but it is up to you to critically consider to risks and chances. After all, with the decisions we make, we have to face the consequences, be it good or bad.

Self-control for me is also about being in control of our emotions. Being emotionally stable sure makes life a lot easier. We should refrain from being over-emotional. Not only does it cause unncessary drama, it may also lead to bad decisions. The world will hurt us sometimes. It happens. It's normal. It's life. But we need to repair ourselves. Personally, I sometimes have "breakdowns" and "episodes". These are times of sadness, basically. Under certain circumstances I would just allow myself to wallow in the sadness, but once it ends, it ends. Like, I tell myself, "It's okay to be sad, but just tonight, ok?".

In times of despair, remember,

"Allah does not charge a soul except [with what within] its capacity..." (Al-Baqarah , 2:286)

and, one of my favourite verses from the Holy Quran,

"Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease." (Ash-Sharh 94:6)

In a conversation I had with my friend earlier, he asked "if you were given a wish, what would it be? or maybe... if you could fix anything in the past, what would it be?". Eventhough he wasn't seriously asking (we were thinking about questions people would ask if we promised to answer one question honestly), an answer came to mind.

My answer: I wish to make peace with my past. I don't think I'm only talking about 2014 when I'm saying this. This is about a lot of things I have been dragging along with me. I don't want to change anything (mostly because I have accepted the reality that the past cannot be changed), but I want to accept it entirely. To move on. Yes, the past cannot be changed, but we can change the way we view it. Instead of regrets and mistakes, see lessons. It's hard to move forward if we keep looking back. Instead of wasting energy dwelling in the past, we should focus more on making a brighter future. A part of it involves forgiving myself, I guess. Forgiving myself for not achieving certain things, forgiving myself for my own mistakes, forgiving myself for the times I've disappointed myself. To not be too hard on myself. And of course, forgiving other people. By making peace with my past, I make peace with myself.

So, 2015, huh?

I don't really do resolutions, but one thing I'm sure that I want to achieve in 2015 is getting into law school. God willing, I want to enter UiTM Shah Alam for a degree in legal studies. In order to qualify, I need a 3.0 CGPA (at least). Band 4 in MUET (a least), and pass an interview with the faculty. Please pray for me, Jazakallah khairan katheeran. To be honest, I don't have any back up plans. So I guess failure is not an option.

2015 will be about loving... myself (first). To appreciate myself. Being confident, and fighting self-hatred. To be honest, I don't actually loathe myself (like up to the point it can lead to depression and stuff, nauzubillahi min zalik) but sometimes I can be so hard on myself. I'd like to lessen that. Less breakdowns and episodes. I know I will experience sadness because it is utterly impossible to be immune from it, but I hope I will be able to handle it better. Of course, this has a lot to do with what I said about being at peace with myself. If I'm happy and positive about myself, it will definitely be easier to radiate the happiness and positivity to others. Loving myself, so that I can love others. 

Besides that, I hope to become a better person, in every way that I can. to improve. InsyaAllah.

Lastly, I would like to apologise for all my shortcomings and wrongdoings, the ones committed on purpose or accidental, whether it was within your knowledge or not. Please forgive me.

I would also like to thank my friends who have helped me through 2014 (and the years before). I appreciate it very much, may Allah SWT reward you for your kindness.

Happy new year, may it be filled with happiness and blessings. Amiin. :)

Friday, October 17, 2014

Your best mistake

I warned you about me
I warned you that I was a mistake you'd soon regret
I warned you that I will bring you pain and 
that I would not be enough, 
because I never was, 
for anybody.

You silenced my warnings with promises, 
promises that I knew better than to believe 
yet I still fell for them, 
I still clinged onto every word you said,
as if if I believed them enough, 
they could have never been untrue.

As I built you a pedastle in my heart,
you grew smart,
You started to see the things I warned you about, 
perhaps it was my mistake
 to think that maybe "the one" finally came, 
that maybe you would stay, 
but I was foolish to believe, 
I was foolish to let my guards down, 
I was foolish to let you in.

I told myself I was done being sorry for myself, 
that my self worth is not and will never 
be determined by a man, 
that I refuse to be chained by regret
but Sometimes I wish you regard me as the best mistake you've ever met.


you are electric
and my veins are wires
when we hold hands
your essence flows through me
making me feel so alive
you are my source of power
but you were too much
I tried to contain it but
you were too overwhelming
you made me shine bright
so bright that I eventually burned out
since then i was worthless
all my veins are useless
and I am disposed of
just like the way trash
is supposed to be treated
while you embrace some other light
and I bet my burnt heart that
she shines brighter than I ever did.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

IKBP 2014

Assalamualaikum w.b.t readers, I hope ya'll are doing swell :)

Plot twist - I actually have a legit subject to blog about this time! :D

As mentioned in a previous post, I was planning to join a debate tournament. Alhamdulillah, God was willing. The tournament was the International Kelantan Debate Parliamentary, IKBP 2014.It was held at Universiti Malaysia Kelantan, and it went on for 3 days, which was from 23rd to 25th August 2014. It was an 'entrepeneurial debate'. This was the first time I debated using the British Parliamentary format. It was challenging, indeed.

after registration.

My campus sent 3 teams, and 3 adjudicators. With little training and less knowledge about entrepreneurship, we departed from Kuantan at 5pm on Friday the 22nd of August, and reached the venue around 1a.m. We were given a transit room, and in the morning, the tournament begun. On the first day, we had Prelims 1 and 2. The second day, prelims 3, quarter finals and semi finals. The final day, the grand final, obviously.

Alhamdulillah my team, Black Vipers broke into quarter finals. We lost by just a few points too! shame. Oh well, we trust and respect the adjudicators decision.

top: before losing
bottom: after losing

The funniest thing I have said while debating (probably ever, not only in this tournament) must have been "Money makes the world go round. If they don't have money, how can their world go round?" That's Sofia logic for you, alright.

I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to join this tournament. I'm also thankful to the Vipers of UiTM Kuantan, for the determination and support. Special thanks to my partner, Muhaimin for being wonderful. I couldn't have done it without him.

just a porion of the Vipers family.

This was during the dinner. We got a wefie with Maizura Mokhsein, the best debater in Asia. May her awesomeness rub off on us. hahaha!

The highlight of it all, personally for me, was being announced as one of the Best Speakers. It was truly an honour. But I still have lots to learn. The funny thing was that the lecturer was commenting on why we were bringing such big luggages to Kelantan since we were staying there for only 3 days, and I jokingly replied, "we're bringing huge bags because we want to bring back the trophy." Well, I wasn't able to bring back any of the big trophies, but hey, it still counts right? hahaha.

with Adib and Soleh, D'Douchebags (that was their company name) from UiTM Dungun. Blurry, I know.

All in all, I enjoyed the experience a lot. Hopefully the tournament helped me grow as a debater. Going against great debaters, getting feedback from distinguished adjudicators, it would be shame if I didn't learn anything. I am also thankful for all the cool people I met. I kept telling myelf, if I didn't gain experience, self-improvement and new friends, then I was just wasting my time in Kelantan. Thank you, UMK for the great experience.

Isaiah (Yaya), Hafiz, Hadi, Adib and Kammy.

we went hard, then we went home.

There are already talks of upcoming debate tournaments. I guess we just have to wait and see. :)

Monday, August 4, 2014

Where did the time go? / Raya '14

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

It's already the start of the 2nd term of the 1st semester. What happened? Where did the time go?

It also seems that I've lost my touch in blogging. Well, honestly there's hardly anything to blog about. It's like I'm slowly deserting my blog... and becoming lifeless. Boo hoo. :(

First term of the semester went well, I guess. There was a little drama episode, but it didn't interfere with my studies. Actually, I wasn't even directly involved. Ain't nobody got time for that! Haha. Other than that things have been pretty normal. Classes, assessments, assignments, eating out, hanging out with friends, blah blah blah.

Oh, I joined the Debate Club here, so that's great. There's a competition coming up and insyaAllah I will be participating. Will be updating if things go as planned :)

Sad to say that Hari Raya this year wasn't really festive, but I guess I should be grateful to be able to spend time with family and relatives, so alhamdulillah :)

I helped Nenek prepare burasak this year (wasn't so helpful the years before to be honest), so that was nice.

1st day of Raya was pretty boring. Not that many people came. Well, many people came, but it wasn't as hectic or festive as past years. Hmm. Spent most of the day hanging around with my brother.

On the 2nd day of Raya we went to Johor Bahru, as usual. While we were there, my uncle took us to a few places including Puteri Harbour, Medini Mall, and other places I can't recall at the moment. It was raining awfully heavily, so we didn't get to see nor do much. :( Maybe some other time insyaAllah.

I spent a lot of time in Johor with my cousins' children.

the fault in my nostrills.


so I guess that's all for now. Wow, my posts are getting worse, aren't they? pfft.

Oh. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir dan Batin. May Allah bless you <3

Saturday, July 12, 2014


Now, I understand.

I need Love to write (poetry).
The presence of it, or the absence of it.

I can't write if I'm neutral.
I haven't written anything in so long.

So I guess my heart is doing fine.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

So far,

Assalamualaikum w.b.t :D

So I am officially a university student now! (background: victorious music plays)

Minggu Destini Siswa (MDS) was somewhat useful, somewhat awful. Some aspects could've been better. Oh well, let it go. After 5 days in UiTM Jengka for MDS, now foundation in Law and Foundation in TESL students are in UiTM Kuantan.

Alhamdulillah, this campus is so convenient and comfortable. Classes have already started, but so far, we haven't really started on our lessons. As usual, the first classes involved introducing ourselves. And of course, there was the dilemma of how-do-I-make-myself-sound-interesting-without-sounding-conceited. My class consists of 20 girls and 4 boys, but trust me, the boys aren't intimidated one bit.

I've been feeling sick this past few days. Mom says it's because my body hasn't adapted to the routine here (Friendly reminder: it's Kuantan, not Korea). I've been having trouble falling asleep, and oddly enough, I've been waking up too early too. In a nutshell, my sleeping pattern in whacked. The change in eating times have also resulted in me feeling nauseous at times.

Regardless of my body's rebellion towards my incompetence of taking care of myself, I'm holding up ok. It'll probably wear off soon. Hey, things can be worse.

So, here I am. writing the first pages of a new chapter in life. Let's hope there's minimal drama and cliche.

adios. :)

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

3 Days to Go!

Assalamualaikum w.b.t readers!

I haven't updated in so long because there is absolutely nothing to blog about (excuses, smexcuses).
Today, I am forcing my self to blog, because I don't want to lose my consistency in blogging (what?)

What have the oh-so-interesting (ahem sarcasm ahem) Sofia has been up to lately?

Well, I spent a lot of time in school this past weeks because of the Hari Kecemerlangan Sekolah Berasrama Penuh Kali Ke-41 (HKSBP41). "Helping" and "Training" the school debate team. Well, in all honesty I wasn't that much of a help. Sorry ducklings :( The results weren't auspicious. Well, better luck next time, SESMA.

HKSBP41 was kinda fun though, I was expecting more stalls, but at least we had keropok lekor and cold drinks to quench our thirst (Terengganu is really hot, seriously). I got to see people debate, which was entertaining and somewhat frustrating. Plus, I got to spend time with good company, instead of being miserable alone at home. I was even one of the admins of the semi-official Twitter page, which means I had a taste of tweet-famous-ness, hahaha! Who am I kidding, people didn't know it was me. :(

Other than that I've had a few visits to the doctor, and at one point, the hospital. What's wrong? Nobody knows. No symptoms, no nothing. It's like a certain part of my body just decided to stop doing it's job all of a sudden. Alhamdulillah, all tests show normal results (weird, but at least there's nothing critically wrong). I guess I'll just have to wait and see, and attend my appointments. Rest assured, there's nothing to worry about (as if ya'll were worried about little ol' me).

So, I'll be starting university soon! Well, pre-university, to be exact. I'll be doing foundation in law, in UiTM Kuantan. Alhamdulillah, it's the course I was hoping for. I've heard numerous good feedbacks about that place from seniors, alhamdulillah. I'm actually excited to go! Not so excited about orientation week though, but I'll survive.

I'm basically leaving the science stream, which some people find weird, since I'm from a science school. InsyaAllah, this is the right choice. Why? honestly, I feel that I have more potential in that field (I don't know if this is a valid statement, since I have 0 experience in the Law field). My natural aptitude had always leaned towards talking, and I do feel passionate about debate. In school, I wasn't that excellent in calculations, my math teachers will fully support this statement. Science is interesting, but it wasn't my forte.

Here are a few comments by my teachers:
"Don't become an engineer." - Physics Teacher
"Well, you're no scientist." - English Teacher

I started seriously contemplating about taking Law when the school counselor mentioned it, and supported by my Physics teacher. I discussed about it with my parents, and got their green light. So I had a pretty clear target even before I sat for my SPM. Alhamdulillah, I did not have to face tough decisions on what courses to study, where to study, etc. It was somewhat of an easy choice, actually. I take it that Allah has made it easy for me. :)

I was able to ask lot of people who have first-hand experience in the field, a few law students and also, a practicing lawyer. They certainly helped me to understand the nature of the course, and also regarding career opportunities in the field.

I am in no way implying that I expect this course to be easy. Personally, I don't think the question is "which course is easy?" but rather, "Which course am I willing to strive for?"  and this is my answer. Hopefully, the right one.

If it doesn't burden you, dear reader, please pray that Allah eases my affairs in my studies. Jazakallah khayr in advance :)

So peers, I hope we all have made the right decision. All the best in entering this new phase of life. May Allah bless us all :)

Till next post, Assalamualaikum. :)

Saturday, April 26, 2014

PNC Debates (UniSZA and UMT)

So hey! Assalamualaikum w.b.t
hope ya'll are well.

I haven't been updating my blog for so long because I simply don't have any blog-worthy things to share hahaha (why am I laughing, I just implied that I am lifeless sobs)

but today I do have stuff to write!

So today I was in Universiti Malaysia Terengganu from morning until evening for the 2nd day of the 10th Vice Chancellor's Cup Debate Competition 2014

Actually it all started two weeks ago when a friend of mine asked if I wanted to go see UniSZA's PNC (Piala Naib Chancellor) Debate. Long story short, I went there, and with some tweaks here and there, I ended up being among the adjudicators (fully guided, of course. Just helping out here and there since I am obviously not qualified to be an adjudicator on my own). Which turned out to be great!

I got first-hand experience of adjudicating, and most importantly I got the see the debate form the adjudicators' perspective, so hopefully it will help me in some way to improve as a debater, if I get to pursue debate once again after I enroll in university (which is what I am planning to do).

I also got to see the difference between school and university debates in terms of style and topics. Debate competitions in school are somewhat restrained by format and rules, some of which regards manners whereas in university, the style of debating are more lenient, but still needs to adhere to basic rules of manners, and so on. Of course, the motions may include sensitive issues, which are very unlikely (Prohibited, I think) to be used in school level debates (at least the ones I've participated in).

What worries me is when the theme is religion. Personally, I don't feel comfortable debating about "sensitive" issues regarding religion, especially if I don't have a firm understanding of the matter at hand, let alone be pro or against it! Hopefully situations like this won't come up (at least not often, since it seems rather inevitable), and if (/when) it does, I hope my faith will stand strong. Gulp.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who was involved with both PNC Debates, especially the adjudicators from UMT who treated me like I was one of them, and not some out-of-place teenager (I don't even know if you'll ever read this hahaha) . It was kinda awkward at first to be mainly introduced as "Dr.Siti's daughter" because I'm not used to it. Usually it's "Dr.Abol's daughter" or "Abol's sister" (depending which Abol you're referring to hahaha), but it was nice to be recognized like that for a change. Thank you for teaching me the things I didn't know, answering all my questions, and of course, for the fun and laughter we shared (was so sweet, don't get diabetes k).

so I guess that's all for now.
Until next time, adios.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Life goes on.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t,

so... I just got my SPM results.
Alhamdulillah I am satisfied with it. :)

I didn't reach some people's expectations of me, but you know what, screw expectations.
I believe that I have tried my best.

I prayed again and again for God to give me what was best for me.
I am certain that I have gotten what I have prayed for.

"Be grateful for what you have, you'll end up having more." - Oprah

Life goes on. InsyaAllah better things will come. :)
So, I'll keep trying my best.

as they say. quitters never win and winners never quit.

thank you to everyone who has helped me and supported me all this while. May Allah reciprocate your kindness. Jazakallah khair <3

and congratulations for all SPM leavers!
Here's to a new beginning.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

I miss debating.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t :)

yes, the title says it all. I miss debating. No, let me rephrase that. I FREAKING miss debating.

Oh wait, who wanted to drop debate last year? wasn't it you, Sofia?
who kept telling herself that she couldn't wait to get out of school? Wasn't that you, too, Sofia?

Wait, don't you go to school like 5 times a week nowadays to ""train"" the debate team?

How ironic. Almost as ironic that my mom teaches marine biology but won't let me get a diving licence. Almost. ((she has reasonable reasons, of course. Perhaps it isn't a definite no, but a not yet))

what was I talking about again? oh right, debating.

I was first introduced to debate in 2009. I was a junior (Form One) in SMKA Tok Jiring (recently changed to SMKA Dato Haji Abbas) back then. I don't remember how it started, exactly, but I remember staying at school after classes and even going to school at night. The teachers were so committed. I was so lucky to have them teach me and guide me, especially because I was totally new to debating. Thank you, Teacher Wan Hanizah, Teacher Normala, Teacher Dayang and Teacher Rosidah. Thank you for giving me the chance, and putting faith in me to represent the school. It was an all-girls team, and the other girls were my seniors by 3 years, haha! Kak Aishah, Kak Raihan, Kak Aina and Kak Afini, thank you for the teamwork and memories. Thank you for treating me like a sister. :') ((emotional moment lol)) I'd say debating with them was the sweetest memory I have from that school.

I was also lucky enough to be able to continue debating after I transferred schools to SMK Kompleks Gong Badak. It wasn't awesome, though. It lacked... everything. Teamwork, determination, etc. It was as if we were participating in the competition because we had no choice. Hmm, we could have done better. Oh well, let bygones be bygones.

After I entered SM Sains Sultan Mahmud (SESMA), it was back to business. This time, the stakes were higher. I've blogged about my experience debating for SESMA here so I'm not going to elaborate further. too bad I didn't have the chance to write about last year's competition :(

I fell in love with debating from the very beginning. I mean, people had to listen to what I have to say, and I get to prove people wrong hahahaha! ((they're probably the wrong reasons but let's be honest here :P)) Of course, there are other reasons why I enjoy it. For me, debating is pretty much arguing, only in a very professional and civilized manner.

Debating has taught me a lot. I think for me one of the things that I have to be careful about is maintaining composure, since I have anger issues. Most of the time it's not even anger, it's just over-competitiveness, over-enthusiasm and wrong voice projection technique (Whoops). Basically, it's lack of self control. But that's the thing, it's not about forcing people to believe you, but to persuade people. You can't shove your opinions and beliefs down people's throats, but you can 'educate' them through reasonable arguments and facts. This applies in arguing in real life, too. Raise your arguments, not your voice.

Another thing debate has taught me is that there are multiple ways to approach a certain issue. There are two sides of a coin, and there are pros and cons to everything. Kak Aishah used to say that debating causes multiple personality disorder (specifically bipolar) because you have to go through the good and bad of an issue, and you will find things that contradict each other, and sometimes contradict with your own opinions, too! Debate requires a lot of research. It's not enough to have an opinion. You need legitimate facts to support your argument. Only then you can be convincing. I think debating has somewhat affected my way of thinking. I think it has also inculcated a habit of wanting to oppose things and disagree with people, which can get very annoying sometimes.

Of course, in most debate tournaments more points are allocated for 'style' (no, it does not mean you need to wear designer clothes nor does it mean you have to attempt a fake English accent) than substance. I don't think it's smart to practice more on 'appearing intimidating' than actual arguing. You'd be surprised on how many people appear intimidating, with their voice projection and body posture, but if you listen carefully to what they're saying, it's nonsense. As they say, empty cans make the most noise. Of course, individual debaters have their own style, and teams have their own strategies. This is just an opinion. I'm not saying that presence is not important at all, in fact, it is immensely crucial. From my observation, even if you seem confident but your arguments are weak, it's very risky. Once your opponent find your weak spot, you're pretty much doomed. Likewise, having strong arguments and cold hard facts but failing to convince people won't do you much good, either. So, in conclusion, you need both. But for me, if I have strong arguments, then I will be more confident. Personally, I have never actually practiced on being 'psycho'. Perhaps the little bits of anger which escaped was enough. Haha! Oh well, all to their own. Just, don't get intimidated easily.

I don't even know where I'm going with this post anymore. This is supposed to be somewhat of a recount, not a how-to-debate. Hahaha.

SESMA will be the host for the Hari Kecemerlangan Sekolah Berasrama Penuh kali ke-41 (#HKSBP41 on Twitter) this year (Basketball, Bahas and Debate). We're hoping to do great this year, both in hosting and participating.

Alhamdulillah there is a very kind-hearted and determined woman (parent, specifically) who was willing to find sponsorship to hire debate trainers. Thank you Aunty Ave for everything! Hopefully we'll make you proud and can reciprocate all that you have done for us.

It all started when Aunty Ave contacted me and asked me to train the juniors, but I don't feel qualified to do that, let alone be paid for it so I contacted Abang Syafiq, a guy who I first met in a debate match back when I was in form one. With his help, now we have  three trainers (including him). Four, if you include me. Thanks Abang Syafiq, Abang Syahmi and Kak Nad for all the help. I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you for your time, and for putting up with me and my nonsensical shenanigans. Hahaha! We're in this together. Hopefully we can help the ducklings to become great debaters. Yes, we call the debaters 'ducklings'. Affectionately, that is. As in you-are-my-ducklings-and-I-am-you-mama-duck kind of way. It all started last year when the debate team would walk around the school compound and the juniors would be trailing behind the seniors, hahaha!

I hope I can continue debating in university/college. InsyaAllah.

On another note, SPM 2013 results will be announced on 20th March, which is in 16 days.
Please pray that I (and my fellow SPM-leavers) get good results, get a scholarship, and get into a good higher-education institution. Jazakallah khair :)

Saturday, February 15, 2014


Come closer dear sailor
how long have you been at sea?
vicious waves must be worth it
for a night of pleasure with me

come closer dear sailor
hear the song of pretty maidens
enter our perfect paradise
forget all your heavy burdens

come closer dear sailor
i can realise your wildest dreams
i can fulfill your deepest desires
come fall for my evil schemes

come closer dear sailor
fall into my luring arms
follow my enchanting voice
you can't resist my charms

come closer dear sailor
put your trust in me
let me consume you
first soul then body

Thursday, February 13, 2014


You didn't heal my wounds
Instead, you ran your fingers over them
reading them as if they're braille
telling stories of courage and strength
they weren't wounds after all
they were chapters for you to unfold
and you are my ending.


they never appreciated my love poems
because they are rightfully yours
and yours only

they were written for you
have always been for you
even before I ever met you