Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Hope's Quest for Love - Part 2

[click here for Part 1]

That night, as Hope lied in bed, he thought of the mysterious Love. He had ideas of how she would be like. How unlike with Past, they would be permanent. Despite not finding Love at the given address, his determination did not falter. He replayed the conversation he had with Instinct and Reason over dinner.

“You have to ask her! She might know where Love is,” Instinct exclaimed, enthusiastically. Hope just finished telling them what happened that morning.

“If she did, she would have probably sent Love’s letters to her, instead of leaving them scattered around,” said Reason. “At least, she should have.”

“Well maybe she didn’t have the time,” replied Instinct, defending himself. “Come on, Hope, what could possibly go wrong?” he said, Instinct’s favourite line.

“What could possibly go wrong?” Hope repeated Instinct’s words, flashing a boyish smile at Reason. A lot of things, Reason thought. But he just sighed and continued eating his dinner.

Hope lied in bed, smiling until he fell into a peaceful slumber.

At the that very moment, in the unkept house, the strange girl was sitting on the floor of a shabby room, looking through an old album. Inside were pictures of Love – sweet, beautiful, Love. There was nothing extravagantly glorious about her, to be frank. That was the thing about Love. She didn’t have to try to be endearing, she just was. Her presence amplified every positivity, and of course, Love had her bad days too, just like everybody else. Love overcame them with patience, and soon went back to being normal, if not greater.

As the girl ran her fingers over the pictures, she could imagine the exact moments they were taken. Every sound, every colour, every emotion. She knew Love very well, and she missed her so. Gradually her heart felt heavy with emotion, and the silence of the night was rippled with quiet weeping. Teardrops rolled down her cheeks, falling onto the pages on the album.

“Where are you, Love?” her fragile heart cried. As if a response, she heard her own words echoing in her head.

“Love doesn’t live here anymore.”

“Love doesn’t live here anymore.”

“Love doesn’t live here anymore.”

The only resident of the house was her, Sorrow.

Sunrays seeped into the house through holes in the ragged curtains. A ray of light shined right on Sorrow’s face, kissing her good morning. She weakly picked herself up, preparing for another day to endure. She must have cried herself to sleep, with the album and pictures scattered all around the floor. She walked to the window, and gripped the curtains. She hadn’t opened them ever since Love left. She knew she had to let some light in the sombre house someday. She took a deep breath, attempting to collect some strength. Alas, her grip on the curtains loosened and her hands fell to her side. Not today.

Sorrow went through her days as best as she can. Carrying herself through the minutes, trying not to be weighed down by the heaviness of her grief. Despite living in that seemingly inhabitable house, her life was considerably normal. Horribly dull, but she was surviving. She kept herself busy, to distract her from thinking about how things once were, how she wished the present was like the past.

She was sweeping the floor when the doorbell rang. It startled her. She stood still, hoping the person outside would assume nobody’s home. She did not feel like interacting with people, because she had more than enough conversations in her head. The doorbell rang again. She waited for a second, and slowly walked towards the door. Her hand was on the doorknob, and she waited for a third ring. There wasn’t one.

She didn’t realize that her hand was already turning the doorknob before she could stop herself. The door opened with a creek, and outside stood a man, already halfway to the gate. He turned around at the sound of the door. It was the man from yesterday.

Monday, February 22, 2016

Hope's Quest For Love - Part 1

"Love doesn't live here anymore," she said.

Confused, Hope apologised and slowly walked away, not knowing his destination. He went wherever his feet took him. Lost in his thoughts, at one point he didn’t know whether he was exploring the town or his own mind.

Somehow, he ended up having tea with his past.

It has been a while since they last met. They were wonderful together, but one day being apart became better than being together. Past had many faces. Each of them possessed their own beauty. Every time Hope looked at her, he saw a different face.

As he was reminiscing their extinguished flame, Past reached for his hand and lightly squeezed it. "We were happy, but temporary. We weren't wrong. We were right at the time, but our time ran out. Permanent happiness is what we deserve.”

She let go of his hand and gave him a weak smile, probably out of pity. He nodded, not because her words were something he agreed with, but something he was only learning to understand, and more importantly, accept. They said their goodbyes, and Past left. She slowly faded with each step, as if the very particles of her being were dispersing into thin air. Vivid, blurry, then finally, gone. Just like the way she slowly disappeared from his life.

He was alone once again. To the world, he was alone all along. Truth is, Past visited his thoughts once in a while, but never his reality. Perhaps it was better that way.

Sipping his tea, he found himself contemplating on the girl he met earlier. Who was she? And why was she residing at Love's address? The poor girl barely lifted her face, and her voice was slow, almost like a whisper. She seemed eager to close the door. Perhaps she had had some unpleasant guests before, causing her to be wary, and not inviting. He wanted to insist on finding Love there, but he didn't know what Love looked like.

He took out a crumpled picture from his jacket pocket. It was a picture of a beautiful white house, with a garden filled with roses. There was something about the house that made it glow. At the back of the picture were an address and a note. “You will find Love here,” it said. It was signed by Instinct.  

Instinct was one of Hope’s best friends. They lived in an apartment together with their other close friend, Reason. Living together can be a challenge sometimes, but in a way, they balance each other. Hope doesn’t know where Instinct got Love’s address. Instinct had a way of getting information, but he never exposes his sources. Sometimes, the information is correct. Other times, not. But one thing Hope learned through experience is that whatever Instinct said, it’s worth a shot. Reason always analyzed Instinct’s crazy ideas, usually insisting that it’s impossible, stupid, or something else. Unfortunately for him, Instinct is very persuasive, and Hope is wishful, easily persuaded.  At least, whenever Reason ended up being right, he had the luxury of saying “I told you so.”

He almost didn’t recognize the house when he visited earlier. There was no glow, but rather an air of misery. The blooming garden was replaced with remains of wilted plants. The lush green grass that covered the earth was dry and brown. There was a letterbox at the gates of the house, with envelopes overflowing from it. They were letters addressed to Love. The house looked deserted, but he knocked on its door anyways.  Even if Love wasn’t there, it was where she once was, he thought. That’s better than nothing. He was determined to find Love, and this was his first stop in his quest.

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Written In The Stars

I can't sleep and you're in my thoughts.

We're dancing among the clouds,
with the grace and fancy clothes we don't have in real life.
Our footprints become stars, forming constellations as we dance.

They say that destiny is written in the stars.
God knows if that's true.

But I know that these are our stars,
and this is our destiny.

(20th January 2016 - 2:12a.m.)

Friday, February 5, 2016

1st Semester of Degree

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

You might have noticed that I have revamped my blog. I figured why not make a new blog post.

Last September (2015), I entered law school. Alhamdulillah, my first semester finished early January 2016. ok habis cerita lol jk

So let's see. How was my first semester like? I guess it was okay. I managed to get involved in a couple of activities/events without losing the grip on my studies... I hope. Results come out 18/2 - gulp!

I was the class representative. It kinda happened by mistake, hahaha. It was the first class for Torts 1. We we're in the auditorium, and the lecturer was looking for students to be the class reps. Unsuprisingly, most of us kept quiet. Those who weren't quiet were picking out names of their friends. Most of us didn't even know each other so it was not going to be easy, unless someone volunteered. I kept quiet because honestly I avoid extra work.

One of my classmates who I know from foundations called me. We were sitting close to each other, I think she was sitting a row behind me. We didn't speak loudly, but it was loud enough for the lecturer to hear.

"Pia, Pia lah jadi," and, with a shrug, I said "Mm boleh je" then before I knew it the lecturer was handing me the namelist for me to mark my name as the class rep. Oh well. It wasn't that bad. Turns out, I kinda liked it haha. Luckily enough I had wonderful classmates who didn't burden me. It was a nice first sem with dem nice classmates haha. For the upcoming semesters, classmates may differ with each course so we'll see how that turns out.

This post is long overdue so I'll only put what I remember hahaha.

1. I participated in the Inter-Faculty Sports (SAF - Sukan Antara Fakulti). Kinda. ok not really.

I participated in the opening ceremony lol, no actual sports (no surprise there, honestly) (but hey it's something?)
. Each faculty had to send a contingent for the opening ceremony where we had to march, and do a 2-minute performance. The Law Faculty chose a zombie theme so we dressed up as zombies, and danced to Michael Jackson's Thriller (Glee version, though). It was really fun. The dancing, the makeup. We didn't win, but oh well.

2. I entered this Shadow Parliament thing

This is an activity(?) hosted by ALSA Uitm. ALSA stands for Asian Law Students Association. I'm in this club btw. So basically Shadow Parliament is where you get to represent your state (or any other state) as a minister and propose a motion. Essentially it's policy making. We present a policy, then the participants(states) will vote whether to pass or reject the policy. I represented Terengganu, bringing the proposal for a federal-level ban on the collection, sale and consumption of turtle eggs. I was the sole representative because in the whole of ALSA UiTM, I'm the only one from Terengganu. .__. (+ no one else wanted to team up with me but sokayyy). I got tons of help especially from Dr Juanita o UMT. My policy passed! Only one state didn't vote for the policy. *cough* Kelantan *cough*. Oh how I wish there were stricter laws for the conservation of turtles in this country. 

3. I entered UNAM's National Leadership Symposium which was held in IIUM

UNAM is United Nation's Association of Malaysia. It's another policy making event. This time, the participants were teamed up randomly with other participants from different universities. Surprisingly, my team won second place. Seriously, we didn't expect that. The other policies were so good! Every team had great ideas. The unique thing about UNAM NLS is that the winning teams (from first to third place) will actually get funds to carry out their proposals. My team proposed this self-enrichment seminars for post-PT3 and post-SPM students, to give them some motivation and guidance in choosing their path in education. As of now, we're still waiting for UNAM to contact us in order to carry it out. 

pitching* smh

4. I entered Perkad (Pertandingan Kawad)

I wanted full marks for my ujian kawad okay, because I expected to suck at my running test (2.4km run) and also the ujian bertulis (but we ended up getting full marks for attending a Neuro-Linguistic Program Seminar which i dreaded so much). Our commanders were cool, so it wasn't that bad. No yelling and stuff. Also, luckily, every time we had practice the weather wasn't scorching hot. We didn't win (wasn't expecting to) but I had a good time with the other participants. 

I can't find other pics! :(

5. I participated in Model United Nations (MUN) hosted by Brickfields Asia College - BACMUN

So this is another policy making thing haha. I was so nervous because I have zero experience MUNning and I didn't know how to do anything. Plus, most of the other participants were experienced MUNners. But it turned out alright. For me I enjoyed it because it was something new. It requires problem-solving skills, critical thinking, diplomacy, etc. It was a fun learning process. I was the delegate for Turkey in the Social, Humanitarian, and Cultural Committee (SOCHUM). The chairs for SOCHUM were really chill so I'm glad that I got them for my first MUN. I think I want to actively participate in MUN in university. I don't plan to continue debating. We'll see :)

6. I went to TEDxYouthKL2015 ! 

I've always wanted to attend a TED Talk, and last year, it happened! The theme was "made in the future". I really enjoyed the event. Hopefully I'll get to attend more in the future, maybe even volunteer for TED! 

Soon after that was finals. So I guess that sums up how my first semester went. I was so busy after I got back from Mid-sem break. I didn't have a free day in three weeks. THREE WEEKS! I was so tired but I'm glad I got to do the things I did. I just need to manage my time (and stress) better. Hoping for better semesters, InsyaAllah.